Should I get involved with my teenager's therapy? Parents and teen therapy

Why Should Parents Get Involved in Your Teen’s Therapy?

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We have learned that true and influential change comes from numerous helping hands. Want to know how you can help in your teen’s journey through therapy? Here’s a few tips we have for parents that want to be more involved without overstepping boundaries.

1. You are with your teen WAY MORE than the therapist is.

You live with your teenager; therefore, your influence is more frequent than any therapist! It can be helpful to have several people working towards the same goal. For example, if your teen and therapist are working on improving depressive symptoms, it can help to have parent(s) or caregivers at home to remind the teen that they are doing a good job, are not alone in their struggles, and may need to try their therapy skills.

2. You can provide a different perspective.

The therapist and teen only have their own views. Adding in what caregivers see can greatly influence what is discussed, attempted, and a part of treatment.

3. You can help your teenager with their goals.

All humans need help. What would that look like?

  • Reinforcing what is taught in therapy at home
  • Encouraging your teen to do their therapy homework.
  • Practicing a therapy goal at home can influence change outside the therapy room into the teen’s whole world.
  • Could look like a family discussing and reflecting on the therapy session.

4. Your teen needs reassurance.

From my experience, when working with teens and bringing in their parents or caregivers, the teens are often happy we did. I’ve heard things like, “I’ve never talked like that before with them.” “It felt good.” “I didn’t know my mom thought that.” “I know my parents care about me, but it feels different; good different to know they really do.”

How do I get involved?

Your therapist may suggest you join a session or two. If that doesn’t happen, try asking the therapist if it would be helpful to join for your child’s treatment.

This blog was written by Meredith Edelen, Marriage and Family Therapy Associate, LSW. Learn more about Meredith and her work by calling True Counseling at 502-777-7525.

Trust Based Relational Intervention, TBRI, explains an alternative way to handle siblings in a conflict.

A Way to Manage Sibling Conflict

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Trust Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) explains an alternative way to handle siblings in a conflict. The main goal of this intervention is to have your child:

1) stop telling on their sibling to promote healthy relationships, 

2) teach your child accountability, and 

3) manage conflict healthily.  

Now how do we get there?

  1. The caregiver says, “I want to know what you did” or “What did you do?”
  2. Repeat that phrase as many times as it takes until the child tells you what they did, not their sibling.
  3. After the siblings have both shared what they did, the caregiver responds with, “Thank you for telling me what you did; now, how can we do this better? Can we try again?”
  4. Have your children “redo” the situation.
  5. Move on.

There is no “punishment” or “consequence” – we prompt children to redo situations in a healthier way.

Additional options and concepts: 

  • You may need to remove the children from the space to a neutral or different setting. 
  • You may try prompting everyone to take a deep breath before the conversation. 
  • You may separate children and go from one sibling to the next, then bring the sibling unit together for a redo. This ideally is immediately after a fight, argument, or incident. 
  • Prompt with choices if necessary. “You can ____, or you can _____”. 

Siblings have conflict, and this cannot be avoided. But how your children learn, grow, and respond to these experiences matters. Stay connected to both children when using this intervention. Try speaking calmly and maintaining eye contact. If you need help managing sibling conflict, additional ideas could be looking into family therapy! 

This blog was written by Meredith Edelen, Marriage and Family Therapy Associate, LSW. Learn more about Meredith and her work here. 

true north therapy is now offering a teen zoom talk therapy group on july 28, 2022

New Online Teen Group Therapy Session Starting July 2022

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Does your teen struggle with their emotions? Are you a teen who wishes they could communicate better?

At True North Counseling, we are now offering a Teen Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) Skills group! Join us weekly to practice coping strategies, emotion regulation, and communication skills.
This class is open to ages 13-17. Classes are online every Thursday, from 3-4 pm, beginning on July 28th. Classes are $15 per week.
If you know of a teen who would be interested/appropriate for the group, please reach out to admin@truenorththerapylouisville.com.
You can also contact us by visiting our Contact Us page or calling 502-777-7525.
What to expect from a first therapy session.

Never Been to Therapy Before? Here’s What To Expect

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Beginning therapy for the first time can come with many questions, potentially making you feel overwhelmed. Here to help with that are 5 things to expect from a first therapy session.

1. Meet your therapist

The therapist-client relationship is one of the most important aspects of therapy. Determining whether client and therapist fit is a two-way street. Do you feel comfortable with this person? Do you feel heard? Could you give this person a try? 

2. Go over policies, procedures, housekeeping

Confidentiality is your right to privacy. Duty to warn maintains people’s safety. Your therapist will go over what those mean in more detail. Any other housekeeping needs- where is the bathroom, waiting room, what to do if you’re running late, etc.

3. Intake

An intake is your therapist’s way to get to know as much about you as possible.

What might be asked? What brings you to therapy, family history, medical conditions, abuse/trauma history, relationships, past treatment, strengths, goals, and more!

Not sure where to start? Your therapist will guide you.

Don’t feel comfortable sharing so soon? Your therapist will be patient and you can disclose as little or as much as you feel comfortable.

4. Wrapping up & Next steps

Your therapist will end with discussing the next steps such as scheduling a follow-up session or call, scheduling ongoing therapy, giving referrals, etc.

What’s a referral? There is a chance you are not at the right therapist for your specific needs. If that’s the case, that is okay! Your therapist could provide you with a list of suggested other options for ongoing treatment. Maybe it’s a specialized clinic or someone else who meets your availability needs. A referral is your therapist’s way of finding a better fit or service for you.

5. Yay, you did it! — Cue emotions & thoughts

Once you have taken the step to seek out therapy services you may feel a variety of emotions. Happy, proud, overwhelmed, upset, stressed, or more. You may discuss topics you haven’t in years. You may discuss difficult times in your life. You may feel overwhelmed with the process. These are typical and okay! Take this one step at a time and remember you are NOT ALONE.

Meredith is a Marriage and Family Therapy Associate in Indiana and Kentucky, a Clinical Social Worker in Kentucky, and a Licensed Social Worker in Indiana. She sees clients in person and via telehealth.

Adding Self-Care to Our Social Media Habit by Zoe Avery

Adding Self-Care to Our Social Media Habit

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Written by student intern Zoe Avery. Zoe is currently attending University of Louisville for Couples and Family therapy and has a bachelor’s degree in English Literature from Murray State University. Learn more about her work on our staff page. 

As a child of the internet world, raised to be “tech savvy” and inundated with all of the fun (but not actually fun at all) side effects of a technology centered society, I’ve often sought out ways to be intentional about my social media usage. If not transforming all of my accounts to purely self help, providing myself with breaks from the usual and sometimes harmful aspects seen online. By taking time to intentionally curate a safe space on my social media, I’ve worked a level of self care within these various social accounts that I just can’t seem to delete.

Tips for Taking Care of Yourself While Still Using Social Media

Adding/following friends that add positivity to your feed.

For most of us it feels fairly unrealistic to delete all social media. This being said, we can still incorporate self transformation or just a mental break into our following list. Whether this is a directly therapeutic account, religious, spiritual, or just an account that posts kittens in different sized buckets, these can be helpful in grounding us during our internet usage. 

Limiting Our Own Usage.

Yes, most of us are adults, free to do as we please, but we are never too old to benefit from a little structure. By limiting our social media usage, we can be mindful of the amount of information we are absorbing from the internet and refocus our mental space on other interests. To make this more fun or easy, you can use a friend as an accountability partner, or download an app that records your time spent on various platforms so you can’t say you lost track of time! This tip rebukes the all or nothing mindset that is typically discussed around social media, and allows us to have a little bit of social media time as a treat (because we deserve it)!

Creating Our Own Safe Space.

Remember that social media can be whatever we want it to be, so make yours safe. Set firm boundaries, be authentic, and take care of yourself. Do what you need to feel safe and held within the community you create on your pages. Whether this includes having private accounts, being selective with friends/followers, not posting at all, posting everyday, use social media in a way that pours into you instead of draining you. 

My Personal Respite on Instagram

I’d like to highlight some of my favorite therapist accounts on instagram, who offer me useful and positive information daily:

@therapyforwomen

 @michaelshahan_therapy

@nedratawwab 

#Therapy TikTok: A Substitute For Actual Therapy?

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By Rachel Eichberger, True North Counseling MSCFT Intern

I’ve been there- scrolling away and all of the sudden I find myself on an unexpected side of TikTok – that algorithm is getting a little too good. Eventually, after several likes and follows I realize that I found #Therapy TikTok. While there is some encouraging, validating, and even eye-opening content it makes me wonder- could people view this as a substitute for actual therapy? Since “#mentalhealth has 15.3 billion views and #therapistsoftiktok has 318 million” it is fair to assume that consumers are latching onto the de-stigmatization of mental health and potentially considering the content as guidance1. A study completed in 2022 gathered data on TikTok mental health content specific to ADHD and exposed some stirring evidence. Of “100 videos, 52% were classified as misleading and non-healthcare providers uploaded the majority of these videos”2.

While educational and inspirational content can leave consumers feeling supported, it is clear that TikTok is not an appropriate or effective substitute for therapy. A USA Today article highlighting the benefits and downside of #Therapy TikTok quoted therapist Jamie Mahler stating “TikTok can’t be therapy because therapy involves individualized care. The therapist creates the entire treatment plan around the client as an individual. It also is held to ethical standards and confidentiality in an interpersonal exchange”1.

So, should I even spend time on #Therapy TikTok? I would say, yes! The upside of this content is that users can find a welcoming environment to explore concepts and consider trying therapy. Ideally, this would provide connections to qualified providers and open doors to users who truly need the individualized care that psychotherapy provides. As with all of social media- consider the source before believing content as truth and enjoy those daily validations!

1. Dastagir, A. E. (2021, September 3). Mental health TikTok is powerful. But is it therapy?. USA TODAY. https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2021/09/03/tiktok-mental-health-content-has-exploded-but-therapy/5694716001/

2. Yeung, A., Ng, E., & Abi-Jaoude, E. (2022). Tiktok and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: a cross-sectional study of social media content quality. Canadian Journal of Psychiatry. Revue Canadienne De Psychiatrie, 7067437221082854, 7067437221082854–7067437221082854. https://doi.org/10.1177/07067437221082854

body image

Improve Your Body Image Satisfaction with Instagram… Seriously!

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Written by Rachel, Eichberger, our Masters of Science in Couples and Family Therapy Intern

How many times have you scrolled through social media platforms and been overtaken by a hopeless, discouraged feeling as images of thin-ideal, white bodies zoom past view? You’re not alone. These images of unattainable, altered body images seem to dominate algorithms and then contribute to viewer body dissatisfaction across genders and ages in the United States. For individuals identifying as female, “body dissatisfaction is pervasive with 91% of women indicating that they prefer an alternative body size or shape and this dissatisfaction remains relatively stable across the lifespan” (Wallis et al., 2021, p. 1). Ultimately, body dissatisfaction can lead to the “development of risk factors for eating disorders in adolescent girls, including body dissatisfaction, internalization of appearance ideals, drive for thinness, and dietary restraint (De Vries, Peter, de Graaf, & Nikken, 2016; McLean, Paxton, Wertheim, & Masters, 2015; Tiggemann & Slater, 2016). 1

So, what can be done?

It seems unrealistic to completely unplug from social media in our society. This presents an opportunity to determine if platforms like Instagram and Facebook can be used for a shift and positive change toward body image acceptance and self-love. Studies have shown that Facebook can indeed have a positive impact when harnessed correctly. For example, a study conducted with mothers in Australia demonstrated that after frequent views of non-thin ideal images and body positive content, participants may have decreased body dissatisfaction. Some of the moms set goals to “change attitudes and behaviors about body functionality, improved self-compassion, and reduction of internalization of the thin-ideal.” 2

If you find yourself seeking content that doesn’t leave you feeling ostracized, less-than, or even hopeless, consider following body-positive influencers for exposure to non-conformative content. Here are a few posted in “20 Body-Positive Instagram Accounts to Follow Right Now” by Kaitlin Pirie:

@theshirarose | Eating disorder therapist, LCSW + body positive style blogger. 🌈🦄 🏳️‍🌈 Fat positive + Health At Every Size. NYC ✈️ LA

@mynameisjessamyn | HBIC. @theunderbellyyoga @jessamynscloset. Author #everybodyyoga #yokebook. Podcast @dearjessamyn. Advocate @wegohighnc

@laura.iu | 🧁Anti-Diet Dietitian • She/Her 🌱Inclusive Nutrition Therapy • Intuitive Eating • Body Liberation ✨Learn how to feel good in the body u already have

@theantidietplan | 🛋 NYC Psychologist 📖 Author of The Diet Free Revolution 👇🏻

1. McLean, S. A., Wertheim, E. H., Masters, J., & Paxton, S. J. (2017). A pilot evaluation of a social media literacy intervention to reduce risk factors for eating disorders. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 50(7), 847–851. https://doi-org.echo.louisville.edu/10.1002/eat.22708

2. Wallis, K., Prichard, I., Hart, L., & Yager, Z. (2021). The Body Confident Mums challenge: a feasibility trial and qualitative evaluation of a body acceptance program delivered to mothers using Facebook. BMC Public Health, 21(1), 1–12. https://doi-org.echo.louisville.edu/10.1186/s12889-021-11126-8

 

vaping program

Introducing RAVE: Reduce Adolescent Vaping Education

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Raising Awareness Around Vaping

Vaping, or the act of inhaling a vaporized liquid from an electronic smoking device, is becoming an epidemic across the country. Teenagers are picking up BLU cigarettes, JUULs, and other vaping devices for a multitude of reasons and ending up addicted to nicotine. Whether teenagers are interested because they see their friends vaping, enjoy the flavors, or think it looks cool, it’s detrimental to their health and wellbeing.

There is a common misperception that vaping is safer than smoking because vaporizers do not contain the hundreds of chemicals found in the tobacco leaves and filters of cigarettes. However, research is showing that this is not the case. The vapor is infused with propylene glycol, flavoring chemicals, and nicotine. A person who vapes, just like a person who smokes cigarettes, becomes dependent on the nicotine within the product.

Some vaporizer liquids do not contain nicotine, but most do. In fact, JUUL is the most popular brand of e-cigarettes and 100% of their “pods” contain nicotine. While it is marketed as a smoking cessation device to help adults kick the smelly habit of smoking traditional cigarettes, the marketing is also targeting teenagers. Until they were reprimanded by the FDA, JUUL had a highly engaging presence on Instagram, a social media platform mainly used by teenagers. And still, to this day, the design and packaging of the JUUL is sleek, “sexy”, and appealing to easily influenced teens.

More worrisome than the design and accessibility of the JUUL, and other vapes, is the discreetness of them. Unlike traditional cigarettes that come in a large pack and carry a lasting odor with them after they’re smoked, vapes are discreet in size and omit no odor. This makes it much harder for parents, teachers, and other adults to recognize when their teenager is vaping.

The RAVE Program

According to research reported in the Wall Street Journal, vaping rates among teenagers jumped 75% in 2018. Alarmed by this increase, Mark Neese, principal therapist at True North Counseling in Louisville, KY, has decided to raise awareness around the dangers associated with this behavior by introducing a special program. RAVE: Reduce Adolescent Vaping Education, is a 4 to 6-week program that combines individual, group, and family therapy with education to ensure that parents are able to act as change agents in the lives of their teenagers. Teens enrolled in RAVE will attend 4 weekly group sessions that are facilitated by two certified clinicians. True North Counseling’s certified clinicians include one behavioral specialist and one social worker who will provide up-to-date information about the dangers of vaping and smoking. Each session will feature a strong Mindfulness component as well.

In addition to the four group sessions, a family session will kick off the program and three individual sessions are also included with the goal of enlisting a commitment from the teen to stop vaping. During this process, parents are given strategies for relapse prevention including the use of Nicotine Test Kits. Nicotine can stay in your system for up to three months depending on the frequency of use. When used randomly by parents and guardians, nicotine testing proves effective in deterring teenagers from continuing to vape. Nicotine Test Kits will be provided to the parents or guardians who participate in the RAVE program, so they can test their teenagers as frequently or infrequently as they’d like.

Tips for Parents & Guardians

If you are a parent, guardian, or adult concerned that a teenager you know may be vaping, the first thing to do is talk to them. Ask them if they feel they are dependent on the device or if they feel agitated when they are not doing it. Discuss the risks of vaping including what’s known and not known about the long-term effects. Make sure that they understand vaping is just as bad for them as cigarettes, but with different effects and different results.

If you’ve already talked to them and still suspect that they are vaping, let True North Counseling in Louisville, Kentucky help. With the new RAVE program available at True North Counseling, parents or guardians can work with their teenager and True North Counseling’s certified clinicians to help teens stop vaping. As a team, everyone will come up with a strategy to quit vaping, prevent relapse, and stay mindful of the dangers associated with vaping and the benefits, both short-term and long-term, of not vaping.

To learn more about the dangers of vaping, read our past blogs on teen vaping and vaping facts. True North Counseling’s first RAVE program begins on July 11, 2019. For program costs and enrollment those interested in learning more can contact Henry L. Buckwalter, CSW, an Associate Clinician at True North Counseling, by calling 502-777-7525 today. 

The Illusion of Instagram

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Virginia Woolf wrote, “It is far harder to kill a phantom than a reality.” So it is with envy of what other people have—or, in the case of social media, what we perceive other people to have. What’s exhibited on Instagram does not always reflect real life, but it’s easy for us all, adults and teens included, to forget that fact.

Whether we realize it or not, we all curate our social media presentations more than the average art exhibition. We present a certain image to the world, whether that’s of “fun loving, free spirit” with festival pics, the “perfect mom” with beautiful family pictures and “candid” shots of kids doing adorable things, or the “happy couple” with hundreds of pictures of canoodling and gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes.

What’s not shown is all the work that goes in to making these lives: the hours spent at work to afford the concert tickets, the organization of family pictures and begging, pleading, and arguing with family members to get them in to the “perfect” outfits, or the work in therapy that it took to get to a place where the couple could comfortably reach out and connect with each other.

What’s also not shown is the illusion of it all. A good friend of mine from a while back had a beautiful Facebook page, filled with pictures of her family, trips she was taking with her husband, and joyful messages of hope and inspiration. Behind the scenes, however, it was a different story: Her marriage was falling apart, she was overwhelmed as a mother, she lost her job, and had returned to destructive habits she’d battled for years. Just because something looks good, doesn’t mean it’s worth envying.

So what do we do with this knowledge? As a social worker, I’m of two minds. One is that we all could be more honest about our struggles. Instead of pretending that everything is perfect when it’s not, connect with people (in real life!) who might be able to make a difference in improving things. The other is that we sometimes need to exercise the option of turning away from our devices to help us with our envy of what (we think) other people have.

Teens and Suicide

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The local headlines this past month included the tragic loss of a 10-year old boy to suicide. I’m certain that no parent or grandparent ever gets over this. One of the few details that was shared in the Courier Journal was that he was bullied. I want to address the issue of Bullying in a later blog because it affects lots of kids and teens and it’s a very complicated behavior.

Suicide is very rare with children. Not so with Teens.

Consider the current trends:

-In 2016 adolescents and young adults aged 15 to 24 had a suicide rate of 13.15.

-8.6% of youth in grades 9 through 12 reported that they made at least one suicide attempt in the past 12 months.

-Girls attempt suicide twice as often as boys.

-Approximately 1,500 teenagers will attempt suicide in the next 24 hours.

-15.8% of youths in grades 9 through 12 reported that they had seriously considered attempting suicide during the past 12 months.

Teenagers send signals that something is wrong. They tend to be in clusters. If we suspected a teen at risk for suicide because they were sleeping too much, then many teens would be at risk. We are looking for changes in the typical functioning of your teen. We are looking for changes in a cluster of behaviors. These signals indicate that your teen might be at risk.

What are some of the Danger Signs?

–Hopeless comments such as, “nothing really matters,” or “I just want to end it all.”

–Sleep problems including sleeping too much or too little, insomnia, waking up often while sleeping.

-Preoccupation with death such as a fascination with music, art work, or poetry that has morbid themes.

–School problems such as difficulty keeping grades up.

-Signs of depression such as feelings of worthlessness, social withdraw, loss of appetite, increased irritability,  and a “down” expression.

There are events that can increase the likelihood of suicide thoughts or events. These include:

Potential Triggering Life Events:

-The recent loss or threat of loss of a friend or family member through serious illness, death, separation, divorce or change in residence.

I cannot emphasize the importance of calling a counseling center if you are concerned about your son, daughter, grandson or granddaughter. There are things that you can do to help them through these very vulnerable years.

There is a wonderful app called, “A Friend Asks” that I high recommend. It was developed by The Jason foundation. JFI is a nationally recognized leader in youth suicide awareness and prevention. This app is for teens that are considering suicide and for their friends. It help teens help their friends that might be considering suicide. An excellent app.

Here are some numbers that might come in handy. Hopefully you’ll never need them, but please keep them just in case.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8225

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Afsp.org

The Suicide Prevention Resource Center

Sprc.org