Tag Archive for: true north

Desert Therapy

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7:00 AM, November 13, 2018, EC-1 (Elephant Canyon –Campsite 1), Canyonlands National Park, Utah

There is nothing like the silence of the desert. This very cold morning (20 degrees) is only interrupted by the quiet hiss of the Whisperlite-butane stove heating my morning coffee.

It was cold last night. I had almost all of my cold weather gear on (Expedition this and Expedition that), and bundled up in my 12-degree sleeping bag. I awoke with frozen condensation on the inside of my tent. As I write this, I’m sitting on my 1 lb Helinox chair while the sun is rising.

As I gaze on the canyon walls, the cedars, the dry stream bed, I have a sense that I’m better than most people, but no, rather luckier than most people. Very few eyes, relatively speaking, have witnessed a morning like this, in this place. This place is only for those that are willing to pay the toll. And the toll for this place was a 4-mile hike with 60 lbs. on my back, scrambling in and out of canyons and over slip rock.

As I witnessed this new day in the desert canyon, I remembered that I had carried Edward Abbey’s book “Desert Solitaire,” with me, not the paperback, but the digital copy in my kindle.

And so, I spent the morning soaking up the sun and browsing Abbey’s work.

“Wilderness” he wrote,” is not a luxury but a necessity of the human spirit, and as vital to our lives as water and good bread. A civilization which destroys what little remains of the wild, the spare, the original, is cutting itself off from its origins and betraying the principle of civilization itself.”

Abbey wrote his autobiography after spending two seasons in the late 1950’s as a park ranger in Arches National Park. He fell in love with the canyons and the desert. It became part of him.

“The love of wilderness is more than a hunger for what is always beyond reach; it is also an expression of loyalty to the earth, the earth which bore us and sustains us, the only home we shall ever know, the only paradise we ever need—if only we had the eyes to see.”

The wilderness changed him and it changes anyone willing to spend time in it.

It can heal you.

I had come here for healing. Not because of the people and things in my life. But because I needed to become a better person for the people and things in my life: to be a better counselor, a better partner, a better parent, and most importantly, a better human. The water was boiling. The sun was warming me now. It felt wonderful!

Friday Waypoints- 11/30/18

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Lessons from my Clients

Solomon (not his real name) reminded me that my efforts and the efforts of the team of people in his life are not in vain.

Solomon is a 26-year old young man, who watched his mother murdered in front of him when he was around 5 years old. She was beaten to death by a jealous boyfriend. Solomon bounced around in what has been called “foster-care drift” for the rest of his childhood. He was sexually abused by the two grown sons of one foster parent. He didn’t finish High School and spent 4 ½ years in jail and prison until they asked me to work with him a couple of years ago. His Case Manager, Abby, from Centerstone has been in court on every occasion and he’s now off probation. He had no ID and no Birth Certificate in order to get an ID. He was denied disability despite his Intellectual Disability. I could go on and on. I helped him order a Birth Certificate from Illinois and we got his ID. Abby has insured that he had a place to live and food every week and TARC tickets to get around town. Chris, from Centerstone is a Job Coach and has a job lined up for him. Mr. Williams from Goodwill is helping Solomon get his GED. Mr. Williams, noticed that Solomon has missed a couple of classes and called Solomon to make sure he didn’t miss any more.

I’ve seen him grow during these past two years. Really, I’ve seen him grow up.

We’ve become his family. Maybe the parents that he didn’t have. We care about him. I pick him up and we talk. I take him to Sunergos Coffee and get him a “fancy drink.”

It’s one of his favorite places.

Mine too!

Book I’m Reading

I continue to study, “A Guide to the Good Life,” by William Irvine. I decided that this would be my Holiday gift to family and friends.

The second Stoic Technique that Irvine shares is “The Dichotomy of Control.” The essence of this technique involves figuring out how much control you have over people, places, and things and then setting goals in your life that reflect the control that you have over those things. As an example, if you decide to play Tennis, it would be helpful to set goals that do not frustrate you and take away your tranquility. “Playing tennis” is an activity that you have some control, but not complete control (sooner or later you’re going to lose).

Instead of setting the unrealistic “external” goal of winning, Irvine suggests that you set an “internal” goal such as: To improve your tennis skills over the course of the next year. You have some control over that.

I encourage you to join me and study the book and begin practicing the Stoic Techniques that lead to the Good Life! More techniques are coming!!!

 

Photo by emme deme designs

Friday Waypoints- 11/16/18

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Meaningful Moment:

Watching the Sun set on the second night of backpacking in Canyonlands National Park, Utah. I had hiked into the Chessler Park area of the Needles District with 60+ lbs. on my back, through some beautiful and rugged terrain. Except for a few jet streams, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. I was facing a desert meadow with rock formations in every direction. I wondered how many people had been able to witness such a beautiful sunset, in such a beautiful place. It was a spiritual experience. It was an experience that had gotten me outside of myself and had made me feel that I was a part of something bigger, older, and a part of something that had been there for millions of years and likely will be there for millions more. I felt connected and at peace.

Book I’m Reading:

“A Guide to the Good Life” by William B. Irvine. This book was recommended by Tim Ferriss on his podcast “The Tim Ferriss Show.” I was completely taken in by this book. Irvine re-introduces us to the idea of having a “Philosophy of Life.” He begins by asking, “What do you want out of your life.” If you don’t know, you may be at risk of mis-living. This book is about Stoicism and Stoic techniques that help us find the good life. I’ll be reviewing this book and discussing some of the Stoic Techniques in upcoming blogs.

Podcast I Recommend:

Daily Meditation Podcast, by Mary Meckley. I like this podcast. First, it’s free. Second, It’s a guided meditation. You simply get into a meditation mode and listen to the podcast. Third, these are short, around 10 minutes. Give it a try!

Friday Waypoints- 11/2/18

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Meaningful Moment- Switchbacks

I took three adolescent boys into the woods to train with backpacks this past weekend. It was therapeutic!!! We stopped on the trail in the Jefferson Memorial Forest and walked through a stream bed. We looked for geodes. It was three young teenagers in the woods, looking for geodes.

I saw the burdens that they were each carrying lifted from their shoulders during that hike. They each carried 20 pounds in their packs; training for the overnight trip in a few weeks.

Somehow the forest, a heavy pack, and camaraderie can take away some of the junk that you carry around each week. I really believe that!!!

Lessons from My Clients- I unplugged

Thank you A.H., a teenager that I’m working with. Really, ‘thank you’ to his mom. Part of our encounter this week included a discussion about electronics and his iPhone. He informed me that Sunday is “electronics free” day. I asked him what he thought about it and he said he loved it!

I have been feeling edgy over the past couple of weeks. It’s election time and there has been a lot of news coverage. I seem to be on my phone browsing during all of my free time (Twitter, Facebook, and other news apps).

I think that sometimes we need to unplug from it all! I deleted those apps from my phone for the month of November. I feel better already!!!!

Book I’m Reading

I’m reading “The Hurried Child,” by David Elkind this week. I read it 25 years ago and he has since updated it. It impacted my life when my sons were in elementary and middle school. “Children need time to grow,” Elkin writes, “to learn, and to develop. To treat them differently from adults is not to discriminate against them but rather to recognize their special estate.” Slow down. I’m writing a review soon.

True North Counseling Hiking

Friday Waypoints – 10/12/18

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Lessons from My Clients

Sometimes the lessons we learn feel negative. I learned this past week that I cannot help everyone. It is sobering. I want to help everyone, but of course, some people have been so injured, or neglected, or have been broken to the point that they are beyond my help. And the most difficult transaction comes when, after a year, you have to explain that to a client. People deserve honesty. As a therapist, “speaking the truth,” at times, means letting my client know that I cannot help them. Then, I become a guide to help them find someone that will.

A Book I’m Reading

I’ve been reading, “Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder,” by Richard Louv. I will be providing a review next week, but I wanted to provide a statement or two now. Louv’s work provides a remedy for “super-connected” kids, and adults as well. “Unlike television (and I would add the Internet),” Louv writes, “nature does not steal time; it amplifies it. Nature offers healing for a child living in a hectic world.”

A Meditation App I’m Using – Insight Timer- https://insighttimer.com/

This app has been very helpful. I love the timer function. It begins and ends a session with a chime. You can have background sounds during the session. And there are a plethora of guided meditations. I’m still a novice but this app has been very helpful.