Tag Archive for: kentucky

Seasonal Affective Disorder or Seasonal Depression is Common

Darkness Approaching… How to Manage Seasonal Depression (SAD)

Seasonal Depression, also referred to as seasonal affective disorder or SAD, is approaching us with the start of fall! 

Do you notice you are sadder in the winter months? 

Do you experience more social withdrawal, irritability, or less enjoyment in winter? 

If so, is this a pattern in your life? 

The American Psychiatric Association explains the relation to a biochemical imbalance in the brain caused by fewer hours of daylight and less sunlight. It’s not you. It’s winter! 

What can you do?

  1. Find ways to connect with friends and family! 
    • Connection fights depression! 
  2. Schedule time to get as much sunlight as possible. 
    • Consider waking up earlier or taking breaks to get outside when the sun is shining! 
  3. Exercise 
    • Endorphins make us happy! Whether that’s hitting the gym, walking/running outside, or yoga in your living room. Exercise is very helpful! Research tells us the benefit includes: improving your brain health, helping manage weight, reducing the risk of disease, strengthening bones and muscles, and improving your ability to do everyday activities.
  4. Check-in with your diet 
    • Are you eating balanced meals? According to the CDC, “People with healthy eating patterns live longer and are at lower risk for serious health problems such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and obesity. For people with chronic diseases, healthy eating can help manage these conditions and prevent complications.” 
  5. Check your Vitamin D levels with a doctor’s visit! 
    • Requesting a blood work panel could indicate you may have a vitamin D deficiency impacting your mood. 

Finally, consider talking with a therapist to help manage your symptoms and decrease the inner darkness. 

This blog was written by Meredith Edelen, MFT Associate, CSW. As a welcoming, empathic, curious and strengths-focused psychotherapist, Meredith believes everyone needs a collaborative and safe space. To learn more about Meredith or schedule an appointment with her, click here. 

Trust Based Relational Intervention, TBRI, explains an alternative way to handle siblings in a conflict.

A Way to Manage Sibling Conflict

Trust Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) explains an alternative way to handle siblings in a conflict. The main goal of this intervention is to have your child:

1) stop telling on their sibling to promote healthy relationships, 

2) teach your child accountability, and 

3) manage conflict healthily.  

Now how do we get there?

  1. The caregiver says, “I want to know what you did” or “What did you do?”
  2. Repeat that phrase as many times as it takes until the child tells you what they did, not their sibling.
  3. After the siblings have both shared what they did, the caregiver responds with, “Thank you for telling me what you did; now, how can we do this better? Can we try again?”
  4. Have your children “redo” the situation.
  5. Move on.

There is no “punishment” or “consequence” – we prompt children to redo situations in a healthier way.

Additional options and concepts: 

  • You may need to remove the children from the space to a neutral or different setting. 
  • You may try prompting everyone to take a deep breath before the conversation. 
  • You may separate children and go from one sibling to the next, then bring the sibling unit together for a redo. This ideally is immediately after a fight, argument, or incident. 
  • Prompt with choices if necessary. “You can ____, or you can _____”. 

Siblings have conflict, and this cannot be avoided. But how your children learn, grow, and respond to these experiences matters. Stay connected to both children when using this intervention. Try speaking calmly and maintaining eye contact. If you need help managing sibling conflict, additional ideas could be looking into family therapy! 

This blog was written by Meredith Edelen, Marriage and Family Therapy Associate, LSW. Learn more about Meredith and her work here

Here are self gaslighting signs you can learn about

What is Self-Gaslighting?

1. Blaming yourself for not “handling things better” …

Without acknowledging all the difficulties or challenges you’re facing and the strength it takes to survive them.

2. Criticizing yourself for being too emotional or disregarding a strong feeling and feeling shame…

Without checking in on your feelings, the place they come from, or noticing triggers.

3. Shaming yourself for being “too needy” or a “burden” …

Without acknowledging that you have needs, like every human, that is likely unmet, and it is this that drives the behavior you’re shaming yourself for.

4. Blaming yourself in the situation without seeing another side.

Ex: “They didn’t mean that, if I didn’t ____ this wouldn’t have happened.”

5. Criticizing yourself for not “getting over” that traumatic or stressful experience.

Ex: “Well it’s been 2 years, I shouldn’t feel this way. What is wrong with me?” No room for understanding the complexity of trauma, the impact, and the patience for working through the healing process.

Does any of this sound like you?

If so that’s okay, be gentle with yourself.

Remember your feelings and experiences are valid.

You can achieve balance.

Ex: “I feel really upset about this AND I don’t know if I making this a bigger deal than it needs to be.”

“I feel hurt AND I could have handled that situation better.”

“I love this person AND I didn’t deserve what happened.”

This blog was written by Meredith Edelen, Marriage and Family Therapy Associate, LSW. Learn more about Meredith here

how therapists are trained

How Therapists Are Trained

Jennifer Kendrick here! Not only am I the clinical director at True North, but I’m also a supervisor for people seeking licensure in social work and marriage & family therapy. Many people don’t understand the differences between professions, or how the professions are trained. While the steps and regulations vary between jurisdictions, here is a basic overview.

Clinical Social Work

To become a clinical social worker, you have to first get a master’s degree in social work. This can take anywhere from two to three years, depending on the program. After graduating, you have to take a Social Work Master’s Exam, which has 170 questions (including 20 unscored pretest questions). After you pass that exam, you can practice as a clinical social worker. You’re not licensed yet, however, so you have to be supervised for a minimum of two years (in Kentucky and Indiana). Supervision is one hour per week (or two hours every two weeks), and is sometimes provided (read: paid for) by the social worker’s employer, but if it’s not, they have to pay out of pocket.

After accruing two years (or 150 hours) of supervision and 1,000 hours of client contact, the social worker is then eligible to take the Social Work Clinical Exam, which is another 170 questions (same deal with the 20 unscored pretest questions). At a minimum, by that point, your clinical social worker has spent 4 years training to serve you.

Fun fact! In Kentucky, “social worker” has title protection, which means that you can’t call yourself a social worker unless you have the required training and license.

Marriage and Family Therapy

To become a marriage and family therapist, the path is similar. You have to get a master’s degree, either in family sciences or couples & family therapy or in social work with specialized training in couples & family therapy. The path verges a bit after that. After graduation, marriage and family therapists in Kentucky and Indiana can apply for an associate’s permit, which means that they are practicing under the supervision of a fully-licensed marriage and family therapist. Like social workers, they have to be supervised for a minimum of two years (in Kentucky and Indiana). Supervision is one hour per week (or two hours every two weeks) and is sometimes provided (read: paid for) by the marriage & family therapist’s employer, but if it’s not, they have to pay out of pocket. (In Kentucky, there aren’t as many supervisors, so people often have to pay out of pocket for supervision.)

Fun fact two! Marriage and family therapists don’t just see people who are married! We see family constellations of all kinds—married, engaged, coupled, co-parenting, you name it!

Both clinical social workers and marriage and family therapists are therapists, which means that regardless of the letters after our names, we are here to help you address your mental health, relationships, and all of life’s seasons.

(Bonus fun fact! “Marriage and family therapist” also has title protection!)

find a therapist

How To Find a Therapist

The good news is that people are (finally!) realizing the importance of mental health. The bad news for many people is that the prospect of finding a therapist is overwhelming to think about on the best of days and may feel insurmountable on the worst days.

But finding a therapist doesn’t have to be hard! Here are some tips:

Think about what your goals are.

Do you want individual therapy? Couple? Family? Group support? Medication management? All of the above? What you need may shape the best fit for you. (Only psychiatrists and nurse practitioners with a specialization in psychiatry can prescribe medication in most states, and most prescribers in our area want you to have ongoing therapy with someone.)

Insurance?

If you have health insurance, start with your insurance company. They can tell you not only who is in-network for you, but what your copay will be. This can take the headache out of knowing whether or not someone is covered by your insurance company.

Who do you know?

If you have a good relationship with your physician/general practitioner, ask them who they recommend.

Friends and family can be a good resource, but be careful about going to the same therapist as your friend. It may be more helpful to ask them what they like about their therapist. Maybe they like a very direct approach, and you know that you need someone a bit gentler! Also, be aware of conflicts of interest. All therapists’ codes of ethics, whether they’re social workers, psychologists, counselors, or marriage & family therapists, prohibit dual relationships. Your therapist’s job is to be objective, and if they can’t be objective between you and your friend who also sees them, it’s time to find a new therapist.

Remember, therapists are people, and, as such, what works for one person may not work for another. If you haven’t found the right therapist yet, don’t give up! There’s a Zen Koan (teaching story) about a man who goes to a master teacher at the top of the mountain. After a long, arduous journey, he reaches the top of the mountain, and he says, “Master, all my life I have looked for meaning, and I still have not found it!”

The master smiles and says, “Wonderful!”

The man becomes angry. “What do you mean, my unfulfilled quest is ‘wonderful’?!”

The master says, “It’s wonderful because you still have something to search for.”

religious trauma podcasts

Religious Trauma Podcast Haul

Here are some podcast recommendations that deal specifically with religious trauma:

1.The Bad Christian Podcast: “asking questions and challenging evangelical Christianity and have found the same problems widespread across cultures where authenticity is low and desire to control people and their behavior is high.”

2. Can I Say This At Church Podcast: “A weekly podcast dealing with honest and open questions about faith in our God and what that means as we as a church wrestle with those questions.”

3. The Deconstructionists Podcast: “Listen, consider, explore, evolve, grow and keep moving forward… transcend AND include.”

4. Dirty Rotten Church Kids Podcast: “Millennial dads figuring out life, art, and culture on the other side of the evangelical bubble.”

5. Evangelical Podcast: “Coming to terms with a messed-up subculture, one conversation at a time.”

6. IndoctriNATION Podcast: “A weekly podcast covering cults, manipulators, and protecting yourself from systems of control.:

7. MindShift Podcast: “I am interested in helping people to reconstruct their identities after leaving religion, be it a cult, evangelical Christianity, or any group with undue influence.”

8. Poema Podcast: “Spirituality, creativity, and reclaiming the art of conversation.”

9. You Have Permission Podcast: “A resource for Christians to my right and to my left, as well as former Christians and non-religious folks; anyone who finds themselves asking difficult questions about God, science, prayer, fate, suffering, evangelism, and more.”

10. Deconversion Therapy Podcast: “The humorous podcast about religion.”

11. Exmormonology Podcast: “Because sometimes life after Mormonism needs a little study.”

12. God is Grey Podcast: “Conversations that promote intellectual, sex positive, science affirming Christianity.”

body image

Improve Your Body Image Satisfaction with Instagram… Seriously!

Written by Rachel, Eichberger, our Masters of Science in Couples and Family Therapy Intern

How many times have you scrolled through social media platforms and been overtaken by a hopeless, discouraged feeling as images of thin-ideal, white bodies zoom past view? You’re not alone. These images of unattainable, altered body images seem to dominate algorithms and then contribute to viewer body dissatisfaction across genders and ages in the United States. For individuals identifying as female, “body dissatisfaction is pervasive with 91% of women indicating that they prefer an alternative body size or shape and this dissatisfaction remains relatively stable across the lifespan” (Wallis et al., 2021, p. 1). Ultimately, body dissatisfaction can lead to the “development of risk factors for eating disorders in adolescent girls, including body dissatisfaction, internalization of appearance ideals, drive for thinness, and dietary restraint (De Vries, Peter, de Graaf, & Nikken, 2016; McLean, Paxton, Wertheim, & Masters, 2015; Tiggemann & Slater, 2016). 1

So, what can be done?

It seems unrealistic to completely unplug from social media in our society. This presents an opportunity to determine if platforms like Instagram and Facebook can be used for a shift and positive change toward body image acceptance and self-love. Studies have shown that Facebook can indeed have a positive impact when harnessed correctly. For example, a study conducted with mothers in Australia demonstrated that after frequent views of non-thin ideal images and body positive content, participants may have decreased body dissatisfaction. Some of the moms set goals to “change attitudes and behaviors about body functionality, improved self-compassion, and reduction of internalization of the thin-ideal.” 2

If you find yourself seeking content that doesn’t leave you feeling ostracized, less-than, or even hopeless, consider following body-positive influencers for exposure to non-conformative content. Here are a few posted in “20 Body-Positive Instagram Accounts to Follow Right Now” by Kaitlin Pirie:

@theshirarose | Eating disorder therapist, LCSW + body positive style blogger. 🌈🦄 🏳️‍🌈 Fat positive + Health At Every Size. NYC ✈️ LA

@mynameisjessamyn | HBIC. @theunderbellyyoga @jessamynscloset. Author #everybodyyoga #yokebook. Podcast @dearjessamyn. Advocate @wegohighnc

@laura.iu | 🧁Anti-Diet Dietitian • She/Her 🌱Inclusive Nutrition Therapy • Intuitive Eating • Body Liberation ✨Learn how to feel good in the body u already have

@theantidietplan | 🛋 NYC Psychologist 📖 Author of The Diet Free Revolution 👇🏻

1. McLean, S. A., Wertheim, E. H., Masters, J., & Paxton, S. J. (2017). A pilot evaluation of a social media literacy intervention to reduce risk factors for eating disorders. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 50(7), 847–851. https://doi-org.echo.louisville.edu/10.1002/eat.22708

2. Wallis, K., Prichard, I., Hart, L., & Yager, Z. (2021). The Body Confident Mums challenge: a feasibility trial and qualitative evaluation of a body acceptance program delivered to mothers using Facebook. BMC Public Health, 21(1), 1–12. https://doi-org.echo.louisville.edu/10.1186/s12889-021-11126-8

 

commitment

Safety in Intimate Relationships: Commitment

This is the fourth in a multi-part series on Safety in Intimate Relationships. Check out the previous blogs on Physical Safety, Emotional Safety, and Intellectual Safety!

When I have conversations with people about safety in intimate relationships, often the only thing that comes to mind is physical safety. However, safety encompasses more than that.

Here are some signs of commitment safety in a relationship:

  •  You’re certain about where you stand in your relationship.
  • You can communicate about your level of commitment.
  • Your levels of commitment are compatible. Neither one of you is moving faster than the other is comfortable with.
  • You can distinguish between promises and commitments. Promises are stated future intents regarding specific acts/events, while commitments are both demonstrated by behaviors and consistent thoughts and beliefs.

Safety in relationships is worth prioritizing!

Note: If you are feeling unsafe in your relationship, please reach out to The Domestic Violence Hotline or your local domestic violence organization. You deserve to be safe in your relationships.

purity culture

Religious Trauma & Purity Culture

Note: This post contains specific language about sex, physical bodies, and a brief mention of sexual assault.

In purity culture, expectations for behavior are based on strict, highly stereotyped gender binaries. There are acceptable behaviors for boys and men, and different acceptable behaviors for girls and women. Purity culture is not a strictly “Christian thing,” though it did reach popularity in Evangelical Christianity in the 1990s.

Here are some of the dangerous myths of purity culture:

1. Virginity is a measure of your worth.

So many women, both friends, and clients have told me some variation of the story of their sex education. In a large assembly, a woman or girl’s virginity is compared to a flower. The flower gets passed around from person to person, getting bumped and bruised along the way. By the time the flower makes it up to the speaker, it doesn’t look nearly as pretty and fresh as when it passed through the first set of hands. The speaker then asks, “Who wants this flower?”

The implication is that if you’ve had a sexual relationship with anyone prior to marriage, you are bruised, broken, and less than. This narrative is particularly damaging to survivors of sexual abuse because their abuse is being re-perpetrated while it is emphasized that they are worthless (and worthless) because of a crime that was committed against them.

Moreover, people aren’t flowers. Or chewing gum. Or used tape. (All analogies that have been used!) Sexuality is not a finite resource. In fact (hold on to your hats!), virginity is a social construct. It’s not something that can be held in your hands, measured, or objectively seen in any way. Even the hymen isn’t a good “measure” of virginity, since nearly everyone with a vagina does not have an intact hymen (or vaginal corona) by the time they start menstruating. Otherwise, the menstrual blood wouldn’t have any place to go!

2. Sexuality is a switch that can be flipped.

In purity culture, sexual feelings and responses are rejected as unsafe, unclean, and impure—until marriage. At that point, it’s as if a switch can be flipped, and suddenly the newlywed couple can give and experience pleasure in their marital bed. In fact, often, it’s the exact opposite. If you’ve been told that your body is sinful and bad your whole life, engaging in a healthy, loving physical relationship can feel wrong. This goes for both men and women. Though women, being the recipients of more degrading messages of purity culture, often feel it more intensely. Men and women alike have reported panic attacks after engaging in sex with their spouses for the first time. Some have physical reactions, including hives, vomiting, and even migraines. It’s almost impossible to set aside the myths of purity culture just because of two magic words (“I do.”).

3. Girls and women are responsible for boys’ and men’s sexual behavior.

Much of purity culture puts the responsibility of “purity” on girls and women. They’re told to cover up (from the least extreme examples of covered shoulders, collar bones, and skirts or shorts that are, at minimum, fingertip length; to the most extreme examples of long sleeves and long skirts, even in sweltering weather in which boys and men are allowed to be shirtless and wearing shorts of any length) and remonstrated to “never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother” (Romans 14:13-23). (NOTE: I’m no Biblical scholar, but the rest of that passage talks about how everything is clean in the eyes of God and includes the line, “Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men.” Seems to me that there’s a bit of selective listening going on when people quote the first line only.)

The extreme example of girls and women being responsible for boys’ and men’s sexual behavior can be found in the victim-blaming that surrounds women who report sexual assaults by prominent evangelicals, from Jessica Hahn to Ashley Johnson. In purity culture, girls and women are not taught about agency or consent—their bodies are for others’ consumption, not worthy in their own right.

What things were you told about purity culture? How have you seen purity culture play out in your life, or in the lives of others?

religious trauma

What is Religious Trauma?

Over the past year, I have undergone specialized training in treating religious trauma. This type of trauma is a kind of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) that Restoration Counseling defines as “a group of symptoms that arise in response to traumatic or stressful religious experiences.”

Of course, this is not a new thing. The initial writings about it were done in 1993, and the term Religious Trauma Syndrome was developed by Dr. Marlene Winell in 2011.

While religious trauma is not an official psychiatric diagnosis, here are some symptoms:

  • Extreme guilt and/or shame
  • Feeling isolated or like you don’t belong
  • A loss of community
  • Feeling lost or directionless
  • Feeling disconnected from your body
  • Shame or disgust when engaging in freely-chosen sexual activity (during or after)

This is not to say that all religious or faith experiences bring about traumatization. Religious trauma is brought about by Adverse Religious Experiences (AREs). This can be, “Any experience of a religious belief, practice, or structure that undermines an individual’s sense of safety or autonomy and/or negatively impacts their physical, social, emotional, relational, or psychological well-being.”

Some examples of AREs are:

  • Being told that you are fundamentally flawed, wrong, or disgusting
  • Having been discouraged or judged for asking questions or engaging in critical thought (NOTE: This is one of the signs of Coercive Control in spiritual settings.)
  • Being told that only your organization/denomination has the “right” answers
  • Feeling more guilt and shame than love and belonging
  • The community or leaders telling you that a fundamental part of who you are (i.e., gender identity, sexuality, ethnicity, age) is bad, wrong, or somehow less worthy of love

If you have experienced any of these symptoms or triggers, it’s important to find a therapist who is trauma-informed and can understand your experiences. For more information read our previous blog on unpacking religious trauma.