August 16, 2026. Nine hikers get lost near Indian Staircase in Red River Gorge. 

This report by Wolfe County Search and Rescue Team indicated that students from Indiana and Kentucky had hoped to watch the sunset from Indian Staircase but became disoriented by the numerous user trails. They sent a text to the rescue team, and a locator link was sent to one of the lost students’ phones, which provided their exact location.
The students and the rescue team were able to rendezvous, and at 2 a.m. they were safe and sound at the trailhead.

Here’s what the rescue team reported: “Most importantly, the group did exactly what they should’ve done. They recognized they were in trouble, stopped trying to navigate on their own, and called for help.”

I reviewed the recommendations from the National Park Service for what to do when you get lost. They use the acronym STOP:

1. Stop as soon as something doesn’t look right. Don’t compound the problem.
2. Think. When did you last know exactly where you were?
3. Observe. Check your map, compass, GPS, terrestrial markers, sun, landmarks, and surroundings.
4. Plan. Decide what you’re going to do.

The National Park Service goes on to say that you should backtrack, but only when you’re confident that you’re going back to the original trail. Once you’re truly lost, staying put is usually the safest strategy. Don’t follow a creek downhill.

I’ve been lost a few times. It doesn’t feel good.

I’ve been a therapist for over 30 years. I’ve worked with lots of people with lots of different problems and mental health issues. Mood disorders. Grief. Relationship struggles. Trauma.

There is another category that I’ve seen more often in these past few years, and I believe it is similar to being lost on a trail in the forest, or in the desert.

You feel aimless. Maybe it could be described as a feeling of malaise. You don’t find pleasure in the things that you used to. There is even a feeling of hopelessness. You feel alone. You feel it in your body. You don’t sleep well and feel fatigued most of the time.

Sometimes you wonder what’s the point of it all. At times, you regret that you were even born.

Maybe things haven’t gotten that difficult and you don’t feel that lost, but you feel a little panicky and even a little disoriented.

If you’re feeling a little disoriented in life, I think the first thing to do is to stop, get your bearings, and make the decision to do something about it. Here are some things that I think can help you when you’re feeling lost.

Four Waypoints for Helping You Find Yourself

1. Slowly start managing the little things in your life.

This falls in the category of oversimplifying your life. You’ve heard the acronym KISS: Keep it Simple, Stupid. I think the most basic way of doing this is to begin with a to-do list. Sometimes we feel disoriented, but we are really feeling overwhelmed. I constantly make to-do lists on my iPhone. I do it when I’m going shopping at Kroger. I do it before a trip. I do it when I’m sitting at my desk and I don’t know where to start. This also means developing routines and habits.
Honestly, I hate doing my routines. I hate even thinking about brushing my teeth, flossing, taking my meds, putting lotion on my face, washing my eyelids, and following that up with Systane eye drops, and then giving my sinuses a saline bath.

What I don’t hate is the feeling I get after I’m done, and when I see my dentist twice a year, get my lab work once a year, and see my optometrist once a year. I feel pretty good. Doing the little things has helped me feel that I’m doing a pretty good job managing my life. 

What are some of the other little things?

Get yourself to bed each night and get yourself up every day at the same time. Figure out how to pay your bills on time, and this probably includes setting up automatic payments. Get your oil changed when the mileage on your vehicle matches the sticker on your windshield. Rinse your dishes and put them in the dishwasher. Throw away the food in your refrigerator that’s gone bad. For men, clean the toilet seat when you’re done doing your business.

Slowly start managing the little things in your life.

2. Slowly start managing the friendships in your life.

Good friends are mutually beneficial to both parties. Not all the time. There are times when you feel as if you’re on the giving side of the friendship equation, and yes, you might feel that some friends wear you out.

I’m sure you’ve been on the receiving side of the equation as well. Your friends have been there for you as well.

Having said that, there are friends that are toxic to you and have been toxic for years, and in order for you to grow, or find yourself, some friendships have to go.

They are dragging you into their abyss of drama, overreactivity, hopelessness, victimhood, self-manufactured misery, and chronic negativity.

If you feel disoriented, it may be because your “friend” is lost, and you are constantly bring dragged off-trail into a landscape that is full of swamps and bogs. Those friends infect you with their despair.

If you’re feeling a little lost, slowly learn to manage your friendships.

3. Slowly learn to manage your thoughts and feelings.

I’m not sure where to start with this. Maybe the place to start is believing that you have within you the capacity to manage your thoughts and feelings.

As a therapist, I spend lots of time helping people manage theirs. I utilize cognitive behavioral therapy, mostly. Some trauma-focused therapy. Some grief counseling. And I use tools that I picked up from Carl Jung — things like active imagination and complex work.

I use nature bathing. Art DeVany, an economist and self-educated nutritional expert, when asked what advice he would give to someone suffering from depression, responded, “Get out into nature.”

I can’t teach you how to manage your thoughts and feelings in a 1,200-word blog. As a 70-year-old human, I think I’ve learned how to manage mine, mostly. It has taken lots of work. Therapy. Writing. Active imagination. Walking in the forest.

It can be done, slowly.

If you’re feeling a little lost, begin the wonderful journey of learning how to manage your thoughts and feelings.

4. Slowly learn to manage your dreams and expectations.

I have a poster in my workout room that says something like, “Go in the direction of your dreams.” I think it’s a quote from Thoreau.

That seems to have worked for me, but it has cost lots of time, lots of energy, lots of money, lots of stress, lots of heartache, lots of late nights writing papers, lots of hours of supervision, and lots of second jobs.

Dreams are not always your friends. They are sirens that will cause you to question what you’re made of. Yes, they are the beautiful rainbows that put a smile on your face and gives you that wonderful selfie that you will cherish and look at with joy, but dreams are also hard and demanding and sometimes unrealistic, impractical, unworkable, and not feasible.

Sometimes dreams are pretty and distract us from doing the necessary things in life.

We feel lost because we are stuck in a dream, wandering through a dreamland. Dreamland doesn’t pay the bills and it doesn’t feed you. There is a big difference between having a dream and acting on a dream.

Some dreams are paralyzing, and some are the bread of life.

Sometimes we feel lost not because we dream too big, but we dream too much. We dream to escape. We dream to avoid where we are right now and who we are right now.

If you feel lost, maybe it’s because you dream too much about someplace else. If you’re feeling lost, maybe you need to manage your dreams.

Using Your Waypoints

I’m headed to Canyonlands next month. I’ve been there 10 to 15 times this past decade.

I don’t need a map. I know my way around.

I do need a map when I head to Wyoming, and Colorado, and Tennessee.

Sometimes we need a map. I’ve offered a map, of a sort, with four waypoints for navigating life, especially if you’re feeling lost. 

So, STOP!

Stop and consider whether you’re lost or not. Think about the last time that you knew where you were, when you weren’t lost. Observe your surroundings. Plan to do something.

Maybe you need to backtrack. And then slowly start doing some of the things that have helped others when they were feeling lost.