You Can’t Think and Feel at the Same Time | Healthy Aging Series: S11 E11
Several years ago, I was invited by Quest For The Outdoors to share my adventures in Canyonland National Park. So much fun.
People were amazed by some of the facts about Canyonlands. It’s about 350,000 acres, which is about half the size of the state of Rhode Island. And it’s remote. The Maze District-Range Station is 50 miles from the nearest paved road. Try to imagine someplace in Kentucky that is 50 miles from any paved highway.
The park has three districts that are formed by the Green and Colorado rivers. The two rivers meet and form a Y, and that forms a confluence of the two rivers. There’s a trail that takes you to that place where the Green River, which is mostly green water, joins the Colorado river, which is mostly brown. I had a memorable hike there about a decade ago.
The road to the Confluence Trailhead was really part paved, part four-wheel-drive, and part streambeds. It was about 10 miles from the Needles Visitor Center and about 85 miles from Moab. The Overlook trail is a beautiful, moderate trail that leads to the confluence, and a hike that almost didn’t happen.
I pulled into the trailhead parking lot, parked my rental car, put the keys in my day pack, put the daypack on the backseat, and then locked the doors from the front door, and without thinking, closed the front and back door. My day pack with my keys were locked in the car. I was almost 100 miles from everything, everything which included a locksmith, and I didn’t have any cell phone service at the trailhead.
I knew I had to get out of this with my wit and my problem-solving skills. I knew that if I panicked, nothing would get done.
There were about 25 cars in the parking area. I knew I could wait and catch a ride to the visitor center, and that thought helped me remain calm. There was a camper in the lot and people were sitting outside. I thought, clothes hanger. I asked them and of course the universe wasn’t going to help. Nope, no clothes hanger, but they had a hotdog skewer. I use one of my trekking poles to pry the door open enough to snake the skewer through the opening.
I used the skewer to turn over the day pack, unzip the pocket with the keys, hook the keys and pull them through the narrow opening. Forty-five minutes from the time I drove into the parking lot, the car door was unlocked. I still can’t believe I was able to unlock the door.
I never lost heart.
You Can’t Think and Feel At the Same Time
Throughout my time as a therapist, I learned that you can’t think and feel at the same time. I don’t want to go into a lot of detail here but it has a lot to do with the Sympathetic Nervous System and the Amygdala. When you feel threatened or panic, your Amygdala activates the Fight, Flight, or Freeze response of your Sympathetic Nervous System. When you feel panic, it’s usually not a good time to ponder life or your current wellbeing. Your Amygdala wants you to stop thinking and act! Most of the “thinking” functions are shutdown in your brain. The situation resolves and then you ponder the lessons that you learn from that situation. My advice to parents: When working with your children; manage your anger. My advice to couples; manage you anger. How many times have you said something that you didn’t mean when you were angry. You can’t think and feel at the same time.
Finding Wisdom in Folktales
There is a wonderful folktale that illuminates the “can’t-think-and-feel-at-the-same-time” principle. It illustrates the importance of not losing heart and not becoming discouraged. It’s, “The Fox and the Geese”
I’ll share my paraphrased version:
A fox once came to an open meadow that had a flock of very plump geese, and when he saw them, he smiled and said, “OMG, I have stumbled upon this wonderful buffet , so I’m going to take my time and eat each of you one right after the other.”
When the geese heard this, they quack and quack in terror. They begged and pleaded with him to not eat them, and to have pity on them. But the fox smiled and said, “No way, I’m hungry and you’re going to be my breakfast, lunch, and dinner for days to come.”
Well, one of the geese didn’t panic and took Heart and said to the fox, “We are just simply harmless geese, but we’re going to willingly give ourself to you, but first, would you do us a favor and allow us one final prayer so that we can die with peace, knowing that our sins have been forgiven and then, we’ll lineup and allow you to pick out the fattest goose and start your dinner.” “Well,” said the fox, “that’s reasonable and honestly a very sincere and meaningful request. Go ahead and pray. I’ll wait till you’re done.”
Then the first goose began to pray, and he prayed, and he prayed, and when he got a little tired of praying the second one did not wait until her time came but began to pray also. The third and fourth goose followed, and soon they were all praying together.
It would be nice to tell you how this story ends, but the geese have continued to pray without ceasing with no end of the praying in sight.
What a clever response to a life-threatening crisis.
Panic and being disheartened can rob us of our wit and our ability to solve any crisis.
The folk tale turns on one sentence. The geese were in a panic but one took Heart, and because of that, they were able to escape the impending trauma.
Think about the areas in your life that can cause you to temporarily lose heart.
Health Crises.
It seems like these types of crises hit home more frequently as we age. It seems as if things break down more frequently as we age. I’m sick of blood work. Whatever little secret is hiding within your body, blood work will reveal it!
But guess what, take heart!
Financial crises.
Your senior years can be stressful due to financial insecurities. The economy can take a big chunk out of your 401K. If you are on a fixed income, any unexpected car repairs can cause a crisis. An unwelcome hospital stay can create a crisis. A sump pump that fails: $1000. A brake light switch needs replaced (just happened: $800).
Take Heart!
Relationships can cause a crisis, especially break ups and estrangements.
Take Heart!
Work can cause distress.
I’m sure there are many, many federal employees that are experiencing trauma.
They need to take Heart!
If there’s one thing that I’m certain of, it’s that sooner or later, you will experience a “Fox and Geese” crisis.
There will be plenty of opportunities for paralysis caused by malevolence.
And when that happens, if you are in danger of anything, it is the danger that you stop attempting to solve the problem.
You may not have the answers, but someone does, if you only take heart.
Take heart! No matter what!
No matter how difficult the crisis, take heart. No matter how deep the crisis, take heart.
There is a very simple wisdom from this wonderful fairytale about a fox and some plump geese. When you face any kind of trauma, crisis, or injury to your person, it may seem that it’s you against the universe, it may seem that it’s you against the world, but if you take heart, you’ll find an answer, you’ll see another day, you’ll outwit the universe.
Take Heart!
Remember, you can’t think and feel at the same time.
