Those Who Cannot Remember the Past | Healthy Aging Series: S12 E8

I remember my first day of basic training.

I remember learning how to tie my shoes.

I remember being driven to kindergarten in the pouring rain by Pammy’s mom and saying, “Look at all that piss.”

I remember walking across the stage and getting my Master’s in Social Work.

I remember holding my mother’s hand as she took her last breath.

I remember giving my wife our first kiss outside Café 360, and four years later, getting married under the Vulnerable Oak.

I remember lots more. Changing poopy diapers. Eating out at the Dragon King’s Daughter. Seeing Texas from my rearview mirror as I moved back to Indiana.

All my memories make me, me.

So, in the past five or ten years, I’ve become a little concerned because I’ve become more absent-minded. I purchased some backpacking fuel a couple weeks ago and can’t find it. I can’t remember actor’s names. I mis-remember past events.

So, I do my best and use mnemonic devices, such as calendars, same with putting my keys in the same place every day, and using routines to make sure I get things done, like taking my medications. I even have a routine to make sure I shut the garage door. I recite, “Stop and drop,” before I drive down the driveway.

Do I worry about dementia? Worry about losing myself?

Yeppers, I worry.

Genetics plays a role, but environment and lifestyle can play a big role as well. I wrote a whole season on the aging brain (Season 10) and more specifically on dementia which includes, Alzheimer’s, Lewy-Body Dementia, Frontal-Temporal Lobe Dementia, and Vascular Dementia.

This last one, Vascular Dementia, is the most preventable type of Dementia. One in three cases are preventable. It’s a lifestyle related form of dementia, resulting mostly from a stroke.

Want to lower your risk for dementia?

First, if you smoke, stop now. Then, take care of your cardiovascular system.

Remember, “What’s good for the heart is good for the brain.”

OK, so first let’s look at when to start worrying about your memory. Are you absentminded or are you developing memory issues related to dementia?

I googled signs of absent mindedness, and this is what the Google AI came up with:

• Frequently forgetting the reason for entering a room.
• Losing your train of thought during conversations or while watching a movie.
• Misplacing everyday items like keys or glasses.
• Careless mistakes, such as dropping things or forgetting a planned grocery stop.
• Forgetting to do things at a certain time, like taking medicine or attending an appointment.

And then I googled warning signs that you might be developing some serious memory issues. Here’s what the AI came up with:

• Difficulty with familiar tasks: If it becomes hard to complete tasks you have done many times before, like following a recipe or managing bills.
• Getting lost: If you have trouble navigating familiar places.
• Trouble recalling information: If you can’t remember important information later, even when you look for it.
• Changes in mood or behavior: New confusion, anxiety, or depression.

Of course, this is super simplistic and is only a layperson’s way to screen your memory, but if you are concerned, set up an appointment with your PCP, who will then refer you to a neurologist.

I did a lot of reading in the season on the aging brain and read several memoirs from family members who cared for their loved ones experiencing dementia. They were tragic stories about the devastation that is experienced with dementia. I invite you to read some of those episodes and follow up by reading some of the books that I call Dementia Memoirs.

10 Ways to Keep Your Mind Healthy

I’ve been sharing from the Harvard Health Annual 2025, but I’m shifting gears a little bit and I’m going to share from a New York Times article, 10 Ways to Keep Your Mind Healthy in 2025, by Christina Caron and Dana G. Smith -Dec. 30, 2024

I encourage you to read this article, but I want to alert you that there is nothing new in it, nothing that you already don’t know, but sometimes it helps to be reminded of the things you can do to take care of your mind. 

I’m going to use the article’s 10 recommendations as an outline and then share my thoughts:

1. Move your body. If you’ve read any of my blogs or listened to any of my YouTube videos, this is going to sound like a broken record. Exercise is in everybody’s list for a healthy brain and healthy mind. I exercise almost every day. I have emphasized the idea that what’s good for the heart is good for the brain, so we all understand that exercise is good for the heart and by extension good for the brain and mind.
2. Address your anxiety. I certainly think that decreasing your anxiety is important for a healthy mind. I utilize mindfulness practices and would recommend Dr. Ronald Seagal’s website on mindfulness. He has several meditations that you can utilize to address your anxiety.
3. Challenge your brain. It makes sense that if you want to have a strong body you must exercise your body, and it makes sense, as well, that you must exercise your mind. This would involve learning new things, challenging yourself by developing a new hobby. I started a YouTube channel just for this purpose. It is challenging me to learn new equipment and new editing programs. Workout your mind.
4. Get a good night’s sleep. Matthew Walker has written a book called, “Why We Sleep,” and he’s done a podcast with the same title. In it he talks about some very practical ideas for getting a good night’s sleep to include sleep hygiene. This would involve simple things like making sure your room is at the right temperature, you haven’t eaten anything 3 hours prior to sleeping, and limiting the types of television programs you watch close to bedtime. You need a good night’s sleep.
5. Get unstuck. I think this has a little bit to do with your philosophy of life and your need for control. I recommend reading William Irvine’s book, “A Guide to the Good Life,” which provides the Stoic Practice of Dichotomy of Control. It’s an excellent book.
6. Stay cool. “Studies show that hot days impair our cognition and make us more aggressive, irritable, and impulsive.” OK, makes sense to me.
7. Quiet your inner critic. I think this falls a little bit in the category of what you practice grows stronger, and if you don’t resist negativity, it will grow stronger. There is a wonderful book, “Hope for Cynics,” by Jamil Zaki, that helps us resist the urge to see everything in a negative light. I highly recommend it.
8. Take care of your physical health. This seems to be a repeat from the 1st recommendation, but I guess this also includes things like good nutrition, which is important for your brain health.
9. Make a new friend. I’m not sure if you’re rolling your eyes but I’m kind of rolling my eyes. I don’t have the need or desire for lots of new friends, but maybe I’m open to a new friend. I think having genuine friends is more important. I was taught in my clinical practice that as you age your friendships become more intentional. I think this argues against having friends just for the sake of having friends.
10. Forgive—or don’t! There’s a lot of talk about forgiveness and trauma. I honestly think this is a very personal thing. I know people who have been abused by parents, and they felt that it was important to forgive and try to initiate a positive relationship with their parents. But I know that there are many, many people who disagree. “If you prefer not to forgive,” write the authors, “or you aren’t ready, then that’s OK too.” Maybe that decision is best made in a safe, clinical setting.

What About Absent Mindedness?

I think you should do everything you can to address your absent-mindedness. I’ve stated before that I use calendars, routines, a To-Do List, a shopping list, and mnemonic devices to help me with my day-to-day living. We hear a lot of negatives about the cell phone, but I think it’s one of the best tools available to address your absent-mindedness. I use it as a timer, and I set alarms to remind me when things need to be done. I send myself text and emails to help me remember upcoming events. My iPhone Reminds me to make a payment, and transfer money in my bank accounts. I get reminded of people’s birthdays with my iPhone. I get prompted to do my mileage report each month by my iPhone. There is no shame in any of this.

Currently, I don’t see any warning signs that I might be experiencing dementia, but I keep a close eye on things just to make sure. Of the 10 ways to keep my mind healthy, I’m doing most of them.

An old advertisement once declared, “The mind is a terrible thing to waste,” a sentiment that resonates strongly. While certain circumstances lie beyond our influence, many aspects remain within our control.

It’s your lifestyle. Many of the memory related disorders are lifestyle related.

Begin making lifestyle changes now.

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