Tag Archive for: technology

headline anxiety

How to Deal with Headline Anxiety in an Uncertain Time

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By Rachel Eichberger, True North Counseling MSCFT Intern

It is two years into a global pandemic and you look down at your smartphone and see the following news alert- “Russia invades Ukraine”. As the days progress, our news outlets, social media, and daily conversations have become centered on a traumatic conflict that is being continuously covered and even live streamed. You can feel yourself getting swept up in the fear, pain, and shock but just cannot seem to stop consuming more and more details.

Why is this? Why do we find ourselves glued to horrific scenes yet feeling our own stress increasing with each story?

“Headline Stress Disorder,” also referred to as “Headline Anxiety,” was coined by Steven Stosny, Ph.D, a Maryland therapist, in response to heightened stress brought on by “continual alerts from news sources, blogs, social media and alternative facts feel(ing) like missile explosions in a siege without end”1. Although headline stress disorder is not an actual clinical diagnosis, “research has shown that the sentiment of news articles can evoke emotional responses from readers on a daily basis with specific evidence for increased anxiety and depression in response to coverage”2.

There are ways to stay informed and remain empathetic while keeping ourselves in a relatively calm state. Here are some tips from the National Alliance on Mental Health to remember when placing boundaries around your news consumption:

  • Be mindful of your news consumption by shortening the time you scroll through news.
  • Limit your news to only one or two reliable sources.
  • Practice acceptance and understand, the news will not answer all your questions.
  • Learn about preventative and precautionary measures from reliable sources.
  • Stay connected to friends and family.
  • Take care of your body. Take deep breaths, stretch, or meditate.
  • Make time to unwind and remind yourself that strong feelings will fade. Take breaks from watching, reading, or listening to news stories.
  • Take social media breaks.
  • Understand that it is normal to be somewhat concerned by this, but try to not let fear drive your anxiety to an unhealthy level.

For some, a feeling of helplessness may become overwhelming and one way to address this emotion is with action. There are reliable organizations you can donate to listed here. In addition to adjusting your own boundaries with news, the kiddos in your life may have questions and concerns, too. NPR Life Kit has an excellent podcast, “What to say to kids when the news is scary.” Remember, many tips that we can use to reassure our children can also be used as a comfort for us grown-ups, too.

1. Stosny, S. (2017, February 6). He once called it ‘election stress disorder.’ Now the therapist says we’re suffering from this. The Washington Post. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2017/02/06/suffering-from-headline-stress-disorder-since-trumps-win-youre-definitely-not-alone/
2. Lekkas, D., Gyorda, J. A., Price, G. D., Wortzman, Z., & Jacobson, N. C. (2022). Using the covid-19 pandemic to assess the influence of news affect on online mental health-related search behavior across the united states: integrated sentiment analysis and the circumplex model of affect. Journal of Medical Internet Research, 24(1), 32731. https://doi.org/10.2196/32731
3. National Alliance on Mental Health Maryland. Ways To Avoid Headline Anxiety. http://namimd.org/coronavirus_resources/ways_to_avoid_headline_anxiety

 

 

procrastination

What is “Revenge Bedtime Procrastination?”

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Here is a guest blog from one of our current practicum students, Abigail Overstreet. Abigail is in the MSSW/MSCFT dual degree program at the University of Louisville Raymond A. Kent School of Social Work.

The phrase “bedtime procrastination” is first credited to this 2014 study from the Netherlands. The addition of “revenge” seems to have first started appearing on Chinese internet sites in 2016, according to Health.com. Since then, the term revenge bedtime procrastination has found its way onto social media platforms, especially after writer Daphne K. Lee publicly tweeted, “Learned a very relatable term today: “報復性熬夜” (revenge bedtime procrastination), a phenomenon in which people who don’t have much control over their daytime life refuse to sleep early in order to regain some sense of freedom during late night hours.”

Although delaying sleep to finish ‘just one more episode and/or chapter’ is a very human experience, the repeated procrastination of sleep to meet some interpersonal need is most often found in overworked people. Populations that are predisposed to this habit are parents of young children, students, caregivers, or professionals with poor work/life balance. In some cases, the habit of revenge bedtime procrastination formed during a busy season of life and has continued even though the need for it has passed.

What to Do

-Take an honest inventory of your daily activities and see where your minutes are being allotted. Those ten-minute social media scroll breaks add up—one of the easiest ways to tally your phone usage is to activate your phone’s ability to monitor your screen time.

-Learn to be present in the current activity and space. When you’re at work—do work, when you’re home, be fully engaged with your family and your leisure time. Obviously with the pandemic, this separation of physical space has become easier said than done, but if it is possible, devote a singular space or consistent set of hours to your work and then step away. Stop devoting today’s mental energy to tomorrow’s tasks.

-Stop setting yourself up for failure and recognize your limits–even Clark Kent only published one newspaper a day.

-Seek out respite services or rely on your support network to get some critical ‘me-time’ while caregiving or parenting.

-Speak to a counselor/therapist about time management and sleep hygiene strategies if you’re still struggling. We at True North Counseling are here to assist you.

Friday Waypoints

Friday Waypoints – 05/17/19

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Mark Neese is back with another Friday Waypoints blog post. On this weeks Friday Waypoints, Mark discusses how drugs cause parents to abandon their children, why the internet is a dangerous place for teens, and he revisits The Parklands of Floyd Forks. Mark discusses his previous visit to The Parklands of Floyd Forks, a hidden gem in Louisville, KY, in his Friday Waypoints on 5/10.

Drugs and Parents that Abandon Their Kids

I’ve been working with families for about 25 years. My early career was working in the rural counties surrounding Louisville. The families that I worked with were struggling with poverty and at times intellectual disabilities. It was challenging and rewarding. Every now and then I run into one of the family members that I worked with and it is very gratifying to see them doing well these many years later.

Today things are different. I have never witnessed an epidemic as I have today: parents abandoning their children because of drugs. This past weekend was Mother’s Day and two of the teens that I work with wanted to call and talk with their mothers but were unable to contact them because they were both AWOL. Both mothers are semi-homeless and have serious drug problems. To compound the problem, one of the teens witnessed his father being taken away in an ambulance because of a suspected overdose, on the very same day. Not such a “Happy Mother’s Day.”

Meditating in The Parklands of Floyds Fork (Reprise)

I was back at the Parklands yesterday to visit the Moss Gibbs Woodland Gardens. It is the gem of the new park system. It’s beautiful, and quiet, and I anticipate spending many of my mornings there. I’m practicing Mindfulness and using guided meditations by Donald Seigel. For those interested in learning more you can visit his website for free meditation downloads: http://www.mindfulness-solution.com.

The meditation that I used yesterday while sitting in the midst of the garden was one that focused on self-compassion. During this meditation you focus on the phrases: “May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I live at ease,” or “May I be safe, may I be at peace, may I be free from suffering.” You can do this while driving, walking or sitting in a quiet place in your home. The Woodland Garden offers a place to sit quietly and listen to the Towhees, wrens and Cardinals. It offers a place to be part of a forest.

The Internet is a Dangerous Place for Teens

I am working with a Teen that was nearly swallowed up by Internet. Her mother saved her. It started with the website, “Wattpad.” This is a social storytelling platform. It ended with her sending pictures of herself to perfect strangers through a group on Instagram: #ddlg. She was being groomed for something dangerous and evil.

These are adult sites and 13-year olds should not be on them! She had no clue what she was getting into.

Parents, monitor your teenagers on the internet. There are predators that will take advantage of their innocence and take it from them!

Quote I’m Pondering

“Your smile and your laughter lit my whole world.”

― Ranata Suzuki

Teenagers and Phones

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One of the most common problems we see in our practice is teenagers spending too much time on their phones. To me, this is a fairly complex problem with a simple solution. The only time your teen needs a phone is when they are not with you, in order to contact you and maintain safety. Past that point, having a phone is a privilege that you as the parent can bestow or withhold.

Before agreeing to give your child a phone, I recommend having a serious and frank discussion about expectations. Putting these expectations in writing is even better! Some things to consider before giving your child a phone:

  • Do they already “push limits”? If so, regulations that you put in place for the phone will probably not be followed.
  • Does your teen understand who the phone belongs to? As minors, they are not able to sign contracts. The phone (and the phone bill) belong to you, the parent. Your teen should never be under the illusion that the phone “belongs” to them.
  • Does your teen understand privacy? As it’s your phone, they have NO EXPECTATION of privacy. There should not be a password on the phone, nor should there be any unauthorized apps or messaging taking place. You have the ability (and responsibility) to monitor all activity taking place on your child’s phone.
  • Does your teen understand that nothing on the internet goes away? Your teen should assume that pictures, videos, and messages will be viewed by their friends, their enemies, their teachers, their future employers, their mom, and their grandparents. Before posting anything, they should assume that everything will be seen by the person whose judgement means the most in the world.

I understand that these expectations and conversations are difficult! But as the adult, you are legally responsible for anything that takes place on your devices. Our principle therapist Mark Neese often talks about the “parental trajectory,” meaning the path that a parent takes to meet their child’s needs from infancy, through childhood, in order to successfully launch them into adulthood and independence. What do you want your parental trajectory to look like?

The Illusion of Instagram

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Virginia Woolf wrote, “It is far harder to kill a phantom than a reality.” So it is with envy of what other people have—or, in the case of social media, what we perceive other people to have. What’s exhibited on Instagram does not always reflect real life, but it’s easy for us all, adults and teens included, to forget that fact.

Whether we realize it or not, we all curate our social media presentations more than the average art exhibition. We present a certain image to the world, whether that’s of “fun loving, free spirit” with festival pics, the “perfect mom” with beautiful family pictures and “candid” shots of kids doing adorable things, or the “happy couple” with hundreds of pictures of canoodling and gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes.

What’s not shown is all the work that goes in to making these lives: the hours spent at work to afford the concert tickets, the organization of family pictures and begging, pleading, and arguing with family members to get them in to the “perfect” outfits, or the work in therapy that it took to get to a place where the couple could comfortably reach out and connect with each other.

What’s also not shown is the illusion of it all. A good friend of mine from a while back had a beautiful Facebook page, filled with pictures of her family, trips she was taking with her husband, and joyful messages of hope and inspiration. Behind the scenes, however, it was a different story: Her marriage was falling apart, she was overwhelmed as a mother, she lost her job, and had returned to destructive habits she’d battled for years. Just because something looks good, doesn’t mean it’s worth envying.

So what do we do with this knowledge? As a social worker, I’m of two minds. One is that we all could be more honest about our struggles. Instead of pretending that everything is perfect when it’s not, connect with people (in real life!) who might be able to make a difference in improving things. The other is that we sometimes need to exercise the option of turning away from our devices to help us with our envy of what (we think) other people have.

Escape. Explore. Connect.

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I do a lot of walking in parks. This past week I noticed the signs at Joe Creason Park had the following tag at the end: Escape. Explore. Connect. What good advice. People seem more stressed today than ever before. Relationships seem more complicated. We’re connected to social media, the news networks, podcasts, and our smartphones to the point that most of us are mentally exhausted. We worry about our kids, our finances or jobs, whether or not to vaccinate our kids (the answer, of course, is yes, yes, yes, get your children vaccinated) and we worry about our health and mortality.

If any of this applies to you, here is my prescription:  Escape. Explore. Connect. Sometimes, it’s that simple. I tell people all the time that one of the benefits of getting out and exploring the forests and parks is the feeling that time slows down. It happens to me all the time. I spend 3 or 4 hours hiking and it seems like I’ve been out for a day. An overnight backpacking trip feels like a full weekend.

Time slows down when you Escape, Explore, Connect.

Lately, I’ve been in the forests exploring for geodes. I am fascinated with them. I love to bring them home and crack them open to discover the quartz crystals inside. Sometimes they’re solid quartz. They are all beautiful. Some are the size of walnuts and some the size of baseballs. What I’ve discovered is that they took hundreds of thousands, if not millions of years to form. Air bubbles developed underground and were slowly filled with crystals by quarts-saturated water. There are lots of ways to connect with the forest and this is one of them. I’m out there in the creek beds exploring and escaping. I am carried away to a time millions of years ago. Escape. Explore. Connect.

This spring, I hope to begin collecting, drying and mounting plants and their flowers. Escape. Explore. Connect.

This March, we are going to host a family-friendly hike in the Jefferson Memorial Forest. It will be the first Saturday of Spring, March 23, 2019. It will be your chance to get some Nature Therapy and to Escape. Explore. Connect.

Friday Waypoints- 12/28/18

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Book I’m Reading:

I picked up James Hamblin’s book, “If Our Bodies Could Talk,” to read on the plane during a recent trip. It’s great read. Think of it as an FAQ about the body. He covers topics that are interesting like, “What are dimples?” and “Why are blue eyes blue?” I particularly found his discussion about vitamins very helpful. If you’re convinced that taking vitamins is helpful, you might want to get his book and read this section. There’s a lot of money being spent to convince you that you need vitamin supplements. I decided, after a year of research, that my body does a pretty good job of extracting the vitamins that I need from the food I eat, so I do not take them. What I liked about this book, was the ability to fast-forward through the sections that were less interesting to me.

Meaningful Moment:

The Government Shutdown and Zion National Park- Thankfully It’s impossible to shut down a park. I did some Desert Therapy this past week in Nevada while attending a family get together. This included a drive through the barren landscape of SW Nevada and a couple of day hikes in Zion National Park. (A BIG Thank You to all the Rangers and Federal Employees that are keeping the National Parks open during the Shutdown!) We did a hike to the Emerald Pools and then along the Virgin River to the beginning of the Narrows. Despite it being winter, there were lots of people there. But for some reason, none of that bothered me. The day before, we had done a short day trip to Hoover Dam where there were lots of people as well.

This day was different. The walls of the valley reminded me of my hikes in the Grand Canyon, particularly the hike from Phantom Ranch to Ribbon Falls. It was as if the desert, the Virgin River, Angels Landing, and the Emerald Pools had transported me to another wonderful place. We slowed down and savored our time there. We let nature infect us.

Lessons From My Clients:

Never Go to Bed Angry! Sometimes the lessons I learn are simple. I was speaking to an older client this week about her relationships with family members. She recounted hearing her mother telling a friend that was having marital problems, to “Never go to bed angry!” It’s interesting that this was wisdom that Elsie (not her real name) overheard from her mother back in the Fifties. I think it’s fascinating that her mother didn’t actually tell her that, or at least it’s her recollection that she learned it indirectly by overhearing it. Think about the things that your children overhear you say to your friends and extended family members. We could expound about the wisdom of “Not letting the sun go down upon your wrath,” but I think it’s also important to ponder the ways that we transmit these tidbits of wisdom to our children and even our grandchildren. They hear everything. Hopefully, the things they remember help them for the rest of their lives.

My Advice for the New Year: Get Rid of Baggage!

I had some time to kill at the airport this past week and I used it to clear away some of the distractions and junk on my phone. More specifically, I unsubscribed to all of those unwanted emails that I accumulated over this past year. There were lots and lots. And then I got rid of all the apps that cluttered up my phone. And then I…..don’t look away….I unfollowed or unfriended people on my social media that, frankly, were either not a friend or just honestly annoying. I guess I have a low tolerance for people’s opinions about politics and other personal topics and I was getting tired of being dragged down into the gutters every time I opened Facebook. You are what you eat. You know what I mean? We can’t keep letting junk into our minds because eventually it changes us and usually not for the better. Getting rid of this year’s baggage might help you have a better year regardless of whether or not you make any resolutions. It’s kind of a reboot.

Happy New Year!!!!

 

 

 

 

The Hurried Child –Are We Creating a Generation of Anxious Children?

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I first read David Elkind’s book, “The Hurried Child,” while in graduate school almost 25 years ago. It provided a course of treatment for me to use with families and their children. I encouraged families to relax and limit the stress that they imposed upon their kids. This stress usually took the form of over-involvement in extra-curricular activities and pressure to excel academically. Elkind asserted then and continues to in the 25th Anniversary edition of his book, that we are rushing our kids through childhood and contributing serious problems with anxiety and depression.

“The concept of childhood, so vital for a child’s healthy development,” he writes, “is threatened with extinction in the society we have created. Today’s child has become the unwilling, unintended victim of overwhelming stress –the stress borne of rapid, bewildering social change and constantly rising expectations.”

People need stress. It’s very important for our body to function and can help create creativity and motivation for being productive in society.

But chronic stress is very harmful and can lead to health issues such as, cardiovascular disease, obesity, and anxiety, just to name a few.

“For some children, Elkind summarizes, “chronic stress is translated into what Freud called “free-floating anxiety,” in the sense that it is not attached to a specific fear of apprehension.”

Childhood Anxiety is becoming an epidemic in our country.

I think Elkind is careful to spread the blame to several institutions for this rise in stress and anxiety with kids and not just parents. These include: the family system, schools, the media, and the internet. I recently reviewed the book, “IGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids are growing up less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy, and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood,” by Jean Twenge, PH.D. “Whereas teens used to hear about social events through whispers,” she writes, “they can now see up-to-the-minutes pictures of exactly what they are missing.” Children and teens are being robbed of the peace and safety of living in the “here and now.”

I remember many things about my childhood: playing with my brother Tim, building forts, and watching Saturday cartoons. I grew up during the Vietnam war and remember seeing soldiers on the evening news. Also, the threat of nuclear holocaust was a constant fear in the 60’s. But we used most of our days living like kids: playing in the here and now.

Unbeknownst to us, we we’re practicing a form of Mindfulness! Playing in the here and now!

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Behavior Therapy-For Children

At True North Counseling, we want to help children and teens cope with stress and anxiety. We want to help children and teens get better connected with themselves and with the “here and now.” We do this through Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Behavior Therapy-For Children (MBCBT-C). This is done in a group setting and uses evidence-based strategies to help them cope with stress. We utilize graduate-school students and provide this group treatment at no charge to the children and teens that we see for Individual and Family Therapy. If you would like to utilize this service, call 502-777-7525 to set up an assessment for your child or teen.

If you’re worried that you might be contributing to the increased stress and anxiety of your child, read Elkind’s book.  

 

Friday Waypoints- 11/2/18

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Meaningful Moment- Switchbacks

I took three adolescent boys into the woods to train with backpacks this past weekend. It was therapeutic!!! We stopped on the trail in the Jefferson Memorial Forest and walked through a stream bed. We looked for geodes. It was three young teenagers in the woods, looking for geodes.

I saw the burdens that they were each carrying lifted from their shoulders during that hike. They each carried 20 pounds in their packs; training for the overnight trip in a few weeks.

Somehow the forest, a heavy pack, and camaraderie can take away some of the junk that you carry around each week. I really believe that!!!

Lessons from My Clients- I unplugged

Thank you A.H., a teenager that I’m working with. Really, ‘thank you’ to his mom. Part of our encounter this week included a discussion about electronics and his iPhone. He informed me that Sunday is “electronics free” day. I asked him what he thought about it and he said he loved it!

I have been feeling edgy over the past couple of weeks. It’s election time and there has been a lot of news coverage. I seem to be on my phone browsing during all of my free time (Twitter, Facebook, and other news apps).

I think that sometimes we need to unplug from it all! I deleted those apps from my phone for the month of November. I feel better already!!!!

Book I’m Reading

I’m reading “The Hurried Child,” by David Elkind this week. I read it 25 years ago and he has since updated it. It impacted my life when my sons were in elementary and middle school. “Children need time to grow,” Elkin writes, “to learn, and to develop. To treat them differently from adults is not to discriminate against them but rather to recognize their special estate.” Slow down. I’m writing a review soon.

Book Review of Jean Twenge's iGen

Book Review: iGen by Jean Twenge

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I challenge you to visit a public setting with children and or teenagers present and observe. I predict you will see many smartphones and tablets. There is no question that the current generation of kids utilizes a lot more screen time than the previous generations (GenXers and Millennials). Jean Twenge, the author of “iGens: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy–and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood–and What That Means for the Rest of Us,” calls these kids, “super connected.”

In her book, Twenge outlines several behavioral differences that distinguish iGens from previous generations. “Born in 1995 and later,” she writes, “they grew up with cell phones, had Instagram pages before they started High School and do not remember a time before the Internet.”

Throughout “iGens,” Twenge highlights several characteristics of this generation. Some of these include: a prolonged adolescence, a decrease in in-person social interactions, an increased risk for mental health disorders. Additional, she reports an increased interest in safety and a decline in participation in religion as well as a decrease in drinking alcohol, sexual activity and dating.

Although Twenge cautions us to not see a strict causality between the increased use of the internet and these trends, the studies that she cites should make us take pause.

I wonder, though, if other cultural changes have contributed to the increased adolescent anxiety and isolation. Some of the more relevant changes have been: school shootings, the extreme political polarization, and maybe, just maybe a change in parental leadership and guidance in the home.

Many Millennials experienced similar pressures from TV and gaming systems and were tempted to spend all of their free time in front of a screen. Parents, however, implemented structure and guidelines to counter these temptations.

Most GenXers and Millennials were not encouraged to work, but expected to get jobs. This was followed with a checking account and the expectation that they would manage their own money.

Maybe, the more important questions to ask are: Is this a technology problem or an overconsumption and accessibility problem? And, what role do parents play in guiding and training kids in the use of this technology?

Twenge provides several practical remedies for this overconsumption problem. These include: delaying the age at which kids get smart phones, encouraging in-person interactions with peers, placing the smart phone at least 10 feet from the bed at night, and adding parent controls on the phone via apps. I can’t help but think that they need more. They need to learn the etiquette for using cell phones in public settings. They need to learn to put their phones “face down” when people are present. Kids need to learn to self-regulate the use of their phones.

Another strategy would be for parents to encourage activities that make it impractical for kids to engage in “phone behaviors.” This might involve outdoor activities, activities that involve the use of both hands, or activities that do not allow cell phone use.

“iGens” sounds the alarm. Kids need our help. Technology is rarely a bad thing, but overuse and misuse of this technology can be. Giving kids skills to address this technology can prevent some of the distress that they are experiencing today.

 

Mark K. Neese, LCSW, BCBA

Clinical Director

True North Counseling

Louisville, KY

Disclaimer: I purchased this book with my own funds and no expectations from the author and/or publisher for a positive review.