On the Shortness of Life | Healthy Aging Series: S10 E15
I’m sitting at my campsite in the Red River Gorge. It’s mid-spring, which means it’s going to rain all night. No worries. I’m prepared. I have a microfiber tarp that weighs about 1 pound. And of course a Marmot tent. I’ll stay dry until I head back to the trail head in the morning.
As I write this, a Great Horned Owl is calling out. I answer. One more checks in. I love it! Maybe it’s a Barred Owl. Now, there are three.
I am on a Yolo-Solo backpacking trip this weekend. Just one night. By myself. Solo.
I’m always a little apprehensive about solo trips. Nobody to talk to, teach, and cook for. And then there are the safety issues. But I have a Garman-InReach satellite communicator and I’m in great shape. Plus, there are some people nearby that I can see camping. A man and his two young sons. And the Barred Owls. But this is a Yolo-Solo backpacking trip. So I brought with me a copy of “On the Shortness of Life,“ by Seneca, the Roman Stoic philosopher. I’ve read it before and so I’m guessing that’s why I’m here. In the gorge. By myself. Because life is short. Life is short. Or is it. Seneca writes, “Life is long enough, and it has been given in sufficient, generous measure to allow the accomplishment of the very greatest things if the whole of it is well invested.”
Seneca had a checkered past. For most of his life he was Nero’s advisor. And then he was banished by Nero until Nero ordered him to kill himself at age 67. But during his last two years he wrote many letters and the pamphlet “On the Shortness of Life.” He was my age when he wrote this essay. How does one invest in life well? I’ll summarize his thoughts.
First, Seneca encourages us to have a guiding principle to live by. He says that many people are “plunged by the fickleness of their plans that are never ever new; some have no fix principles by which to direct their course.”
I remember the movie “City, Slickers” where Mitch Robbins, played by Billy Crystal, is having a midlife crisis. He’s financially successful, and has a wonderful family, but in distress, so he is persuaded by his friends to join them at a dude ranch. He meets a grizzly cowboy named Curley Washburn, played by Jack Palance, who sees his distress.
Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is?
Curly: This. <He holds up one finger>.
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest of your life don’t mean shit.
Mitch: But what is the one thing?
Curly: <Smiling> That’s what you have to find out.
I think that was what Seneca was saying. My guiding principle is the Golden Rule. I think almost every issue, and every question that you have in relationships, in work, and in business are answered by following that guiding principle. Can you have more than one guiding principle? Of course. But have one.
Second, when it comes to considering the shortness of life, Seneca tells his readers to not allow others to trespass on their lives.
OK, ask yourself, “How many have robbed you of your life when you weren’t aware that you were being robbed?
People will steal your time. You have a limited amount of energy, time, and optimism. Don’t let people steal them. Be intentional about your friendships. Refuse to be a landfill for people’s rubbish. People will dump on you all of the problems that you allow. I know this sounds harsh, but there is only so much of you to go around. Family, friends, work, social groups need you and your time, and if you fritter it away with bystanders, and those that are always needy, then you will have nothing to invest in those that count. Think about social media, and how it steals your time.
Third, Seneca encourages us to “adopt ourselves into other people’s lives, that will open us to the path of immortality, and will raise us to a height from which no one is cast down.” Find people who will help you become a better person. And then, be willing to be that person. I try to be one of those people for my wife, my sons, and my friends. As you age, it gets tough, but not impossible. Your adoptee might be younger than you, but having an adoptee in your life adds instead of detracts from it.
Four, Seneca believed that in light of the shortness of life we need to reflect on all aspects of it. “Don’t forget the past,“ he writes, “or neglect the present, or fear the future.” I love this. If people practiced this, or learned the skill of reflecting, I would mostly be out of a job. I’ll break this concept down more in an upcoming blog.
Five, practice “Serenity Now!” I’ve watched Seinfeld episode #159 where Mr. Costanza was advised by his doctor, based on his self-help relaxation tape, to say “Serenity now!” every time he gets angry, to keep his stress and blood pressure down. But of course, he yells it at the top of his lungs along with his animated hand gestures. Try it. “Serenity now!!” Not quite what Seneca wanted but he warns his readers about the stress and anxiety that come from pursuing prosperity and come from being with the crowds. In contrast to Frank Costanza, Seneca advises us to withdraw into a peaceful harbor. My peaceful harbor is the Jefferson Memorial Forest. My peaceful harbor is the high desert of Utah. My peaceful harbor is the Grand Canyon in Arizona. And it is sitting on my deck quietly, calming my mind, paying attention to the present. My peaceful harbor includes spending those quiet moments with my wife and my kitties.
Six, Seneca writes, “In this kind of life there awaits much that is good to know, the love and the practice of virtues, forgetfulness of the passions, knowledge of living and dying, and a life of deep repose.”
He advocates, humility, against pride, kindness against envy, abstinence against gluttony, chastity against lust, patience against anger, liberality against greed, and diligence against sloth
I think this is the kind of life that Seneca was encouraging his readers to engage in.
Seven and finally, Seneca encouraged his readers to enjoy the life that they have now. It seemed that there was a crowd that spent much of their life crafting an epitaph that would be on their tombstone. Some had gone so far as to have a tombstone erected with the pre-inscribed epitaph. Epitaphs that matter are the people that you have touched while you lived. Be less worried about what people think of you after you’re gone and more concerned about how people feel about you now.
I’ll be Seventy in less than two years. I have a certain kinship with Seneca. Life is short, but long enough to accomplish what you want to do if you invest it well.
One question I have for you is, “Are you investing your life well?” I encourage you to pick up his small pamphlet and read it. And then use it as a guide for making the most of what you have left.
