Long Live the King | Healthy Aging Series: S11 Interlude
OK, so ask me how I’m doing.
There’s lots of uncertainty in the world, in our country. Families are struggling for lots of reasons. Is there going to be a recession? What about the Rule of Law? What about Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security?
So, how am I doing?
I’m doing, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! as Bert and Mary Poppins from the movie explained, “It’s the longest word you’ve ever heard… and you better use it carefully or it could change your life!”
Stay with me.
Yep, I watched Mary Poppins a few nights ago. It all started when I watched a music video by Coldplay, “All My Love,” that included Dick Van Dyke.
I hadn’t thought of him for decades. I remember him in one of the “Night at the Museum” movies, and I grew up with Rob and Laura Petrie.
The music video with Coldplay is wonderful.
There are a few who deserve the title King and Dick Van Dyke is one of them. King Richard.
He is the King of Dance, the King Laughter, and the King of Smile. Not perfect. No one is.
But a king who will be 100 years old on December 13. He was an Air Force veteran during World War II. Over the past few weeks, I dug a little deeper and read a book he wrote when he was ninety-three, “Keep Moving.”
It’s not so much a memoir, but a list of edicts or proclamations from a King, reactions to getting older.
He shares his stories about his wives, his brother, and his friends. And there are some good lists, like things to talk about with your wife, because he was always being asked what he and his wife, who is 45 years younger, talked about. It’s a great list. I’ll share some reflections, the lists that I’ve gathered from the life of King Richard.
King Richard’s Edicts on Aging
Edict I, expect surprises.
King Richard lived life expecting the unexpected, good and bad, but mostly good. He was and is an optimist. Maybe it’s a generational thing that he shared with my mother, Betty Neese. Listen to what King Richard writes:
“Think about it, life starts as a surprise, we spend our childhood pretty much in the moment, and then, after a certain point, we spend a good amount of energy planning for the future, wondering, but never actually knowing when, how, or why we head for the exit. All the years in between are summed up by that oft quoted line which I will say again here: If you want to amuse God, make plans. If anyone tells you they have everything mapped out, check back with him five years later. You can say, ‘I told you so.'”
He later writes, “I never had an agenda.” He was somewhat Forest-Gumpian.
I’ve often wondered what it takes to live to be 100 years old. Did any of his edicts contribute to his long life? Maybe not, but then again, maybe they did. I’m betting that they did.
Edict II, love your way through life.
King Richard was an artist, a dancer, singer, and he loved his family. He loves his wife. Because she is significantly younger, people constantly asked, what do you talk about with her? Here was his list:
1. How do you sleep?
2. Breakfast.
3. The weather.
4. The news.
5. Errands.
6. Work.
7. The old photo she found in the closet.
8. A new movie on TV.
9. An old movie on TV.
10. A picture I drew.
11. Picking new songs.
12. Rehearsals with the singing group.
13. Lunch.
14. What’s Rocky barking at?
15. The bird’s nest in the tree out back, isn’t spring grand!
16. The pleasure of reading since my cataract surgery.
17. The surgery I need to do in my other eye.
Love your Way through means, giving, forgiving, listening, caring, attending to, laughing with, holding hands, dancing with, and on and on! Love your way through life.
Edict III, fill your day with stuff that makes you happy and healthy.
Here’s how King Richard spent the day.
First, he got up in the morning and went to the local gym to work out. He included that as a good habit like eating healthy, staying away from fast food and processed food, stop smoking, and going for a walk every day. “Plan on living long,” he wrote, “and start when you’re young so that by the time you’re my age, the right diet and exercise and good habits are second nature.”
Second, after going to the gym, he goes to the grocery store to pick up items that they need for the day. He catches himself humming and singing throughout that time at the grocery store.
Third, he goes back home and checks his to do list for the rest of the day. There are always things to do and making a list helps you get them done.
Fourth, he works out his brain doing crossword puzzles and reading. He also works on his brain by dancing. “More than any physical or mental activity,” he writes, “moving your feet to a good beat, provides the brain with the most fuel to fight the aging process.”
Fifth, he sings and dances.
Sixth, he stays involved in the world. “Loneliness and isolation are major problems for people over sixty-five,” he shares, “and typically lead to declining health, depression, and other serious issues. I’m not an expert, but I do know the easiest and most meaningful way to counter this is to volunteer.” Staying connected to people and the world helps to keep you fresh and challenged.
Seventh, he learns something new every day, like lines from Shakespeare. I think memorization is a very important aspect of keeping your brain healthy. I’ve been memorizing the Sermon on the Mount because it contains a lot of social justice interventions and strategies that I believe in. And it also helps keep my brain stimulated.
Eighth, he takes a nap every afternoon.
Ninth, he plays games.
Tenth, he ends the day with a dessert. “That’s a motto to live by. It might be one for the headstone: He enjoyed his desserts.”
How do you fill your day? I know there are things you do that sometimes you would rather not do, things you must do. That’s not what I’m talking about, I’m talking about time wasters, or bad habits, or even toxic relationships.
So really, it’s not how are you spending your time, but how are you spending your life?
Edict IV, King Richard proclaimed that you should not allow others to write the rules for your life.
Newsflash: There are no rules. Only guiding principles. The guiding principle is for you, not others, but for you. The one I teach is: Follow your Bliss.
I don’t mean, don’t care about others, or don’t sacrifice for others, or only live for yourself. What I mean is: live out the life you want for you. And as you age, do it your way. Listen to others and then formulate a strategy or a path that you choose to travel.
Retire from work when you want to retire.
Live in the part of the country you want to live in.
Be single, or married, or together but living separate.
Start a new hobby.
Start going to a climbing gym. That’s what I did.
King Richard wrote, “The whole concept of rewriting the rules is about being open to discovery and learning and appreciating life, all of life, not just from birth to 65. Henry David Thoreau’s great quote, “You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment, there is no other life, but this,” is even more meaningful later in life, when you know, your time is limited.”
Edict V, life is short, make the most of it! King Richard lived his life doing what mattered to him. How novel, making the most of your life by doing what matters the most to you. I briefly list what matters to him.
1. Family and friends.
2. Being curious.
3. Music.
4. Books.
5. A sense of humor.
I think the one that is meaningful to me (apart from family and friends) is his sense of curiosity about life. “I never lost my curiosity about my place on this mystical, magical map, nor did I quit asking questions.”
What drew me to King Richard?
It was his smile.
He’s ninety-nine years old and has experienced a lot of hardship, loss, and of course, health problems (he smoked).
And yet he continues to smile. Not a fake smile, but a geuine smile.
I’ve shared a little bit of his life.
I rewatched the music video with Coldplay a couple times.
I watched Mary Poppins. I read his book.
All of it made me smile. Long Live the King!
