How to Become a Cynic | Healthy Aging Series: S11 E1
November 5, 2024. The sky did not fall. OK, OK, take a chill pill. I know what you’re going to say. The presidential election is a big deal. I agree! I voted.
It seems like elections these days tend to create hostility, not just among strangers, but even between families and friends. And maybe even worse, they create, in some, a cynical view of the world; kind of a, “The country is going to hell in a handbasket,” view of the world.
There’s nothing wrong with being disappointed or being skeptical with the direction of our country’s policies, and yes, even being a little cynical about the political process and the way we elect the president, but being disappointed, skeptical, or even a little cynical is not the same as being a Cynic.
Cynicism is the pervasive belief that people are selfish, greedy, and distrustful. Cynics lack faith and hope in people.
Aging with an Attitude
This season is titled, “Aging with an Attitude.”
I’m suggesting that there are attitudes that enhance the process of aging. This episode looks at an attitude, cynicism, that can be a cancer to our friendships, families, and can create isolation in our lives as we age.
If there is a consensus among aging specialists about the things that enhance our well-being as we age, a strong social support system would rank close to the top of the list.
Cynicism destroys and robs us of the relationship relationships we need to age well.
I was drawn to a new book, “Hope for Cynics,” by Jamil Zaki.
I want to stop for just a sec and ask you what kind of person are you?
I’m not asking, are you a glass half-full or half-empty kind of person. I’m asking are you a wallower? Do you wallow in your cynicism? Have you lost faith and hope in humanity?
What does Zaki write about cynicism?
First, he writes, cynicism is on the rise.
“American’s belief that most people can be trusted,” he writes, “dropped from nearly half in 1973 to about 1/3 in 2018.
Next, he explains, cynicism is harmful for an individual’s health.
“Cynics,” he explains, “suffer more depression, isolation, and heart disease. They lose on friendships, love, and opportunity. They drink more alcohol, earn less money, and even die younger than non-Cynics.”
And last, he warns there are negative effects in the community.
“People’s willingness to trust, “ Zaki points out, “is the engine grease of society that allows people to work together.”
He warns that social mistrust creates instability, polarization, increased crime, and contributes to the erosion of democracy.
The only people who are OK with cynicism are Cynics. The rest of us are sick of all the cynicism and for that matter Cynics as well.
So how do we starve the inner cynic in all of us?
The Cynicism Vaccine
1. Try empathy, which means putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. Humanize people. See people as multidimensional beings that want the best for themselves and others.
If you were disappointed in the election, see the other half of this country as people that love the country and voted the way they did out of that love.
You don’t have to agree with everyone. It’s okay being a skeptic. I’m skeptical about the direction that I think we are headed, but I have faith in people. Not everyone is disingenuous. Most people are good and trustworthy.
2. Talk to people you don’t agree with. Get to know them. Listen to them. Let them tell their story, their dreams and their passions.
I think we don’t trust people because we don’t spend time getting to know them. And because we talk at people and not with them.
3. Have hope. Expect the best in people.
I know, I know. Some people are very challenging to care about. I know a few of them. We all do, and I promise you that they are not going to move the Hope-meter even a smidge.
So it’s up to you and me to practice hopefulness.
Is hopefulness contagious? I want to think so.
All I know is, if we want to starve cynicism, or be vaccinated against it, then we have to practice hopefulness in humanity.
No one said democracy was going to be easy. Being hopeful doesn’t mean stop trying. It means just the opposite.
Use your hopefulness to infect others. Use your hopefulness to inspire others.
Use it to bring about the slow incremental changes that fuel trust.
I started by asking how do you become a cynic. Obviously, I didn’t give an answer to that question. Instead, I’ve mapped out a strategy that you can use to ensure that, as you age, you don’t alienate yourself from good people.
Aging with an Attitude.
If there is one attitude that will rob you of your peace and tranquility, it’s cynicism.
How do you become a cynic?
By practicing cynicism. By refusing to see things from other people’s perspective. By refusing to talk with people; refusing to listen to other people. By expecting the worse in other people.
What’s at stake? The joy and happiness that you can find in the company of family and friends.