Finding Wisdom from Deep, Very Deep within My Bosom | Healthy Aging Series: S11 E4
Wisdom From Friends
Friends come into our lives and hopefully they bring balance and equilibrium by challenging us, or sharpening us, or even healing us.
Sometimes they help you take a stronger stand for something you already believe or help you discard a view that you no longer value.
My wife and I were vacationing in St. John’s with friends a few years ago. Such a beautiful place. We rented an Airbnb located on the quiet side of the island overlooking a beautiful cove. Our schedule was simple. We would get up in the morning, sit around the 10 x 10 infinity pool, and relax. If you’ve never been to St. John’s, you probably don’t know that 60% of the island is uninhabited because one of the Roosevelts bought up a lot of land and made it into a national park.
I got up early one morning and did a solo hike on a trail through the park to an abandoned sugar mill. It ended at a beach that I had all to myself. Along the way, I took the Petroglyph Trail that ended at an amazing waterfall. I never saw a soul during the hike.
We would spend our evenings sitting around the soaker pool soaking and talking. I remember one topic that came up was about our healthcare system. I’m in my late 60s, and as of yet I’ve never really used the healthcare system. Bloodwork annually. A PCP visit twice a year. A colonoscopy every five years. Covid medicine once. Tama Flu medication maybe once every decade. I’ve had a gout outbreak most likely due to diet. I’ve had bursitis and other annoying ailments of aging.
I didn’t have any complaints about our healthcare system, so when our friend said, “I don’t trust doctors, and I don’t trust our healthcare system,” the only thing I could say was, “Karen, I think that a person’s healthcare is a partnership. You get out of it, in part, what you put into it.”
Not sure what I meant by that, but I think I meant, “If you go into a health crisis with the attitude that, (1) The people in the healthcare system want to help you get healthy and stay healthy, and (2) You realize the power you have within that system to choose things, like doctors, yes, and to choose your lifestyle, then (3) It isn’t you against them.
Here is how I view the partnership: “I have put together a team that is there for me and I’m going to be a good team member by doing what I can to care for myself.”
I think Karen’s skepticism (or cynicism) helped to sharpen my view of the healthcare system.
This week I got to put my beliefs to the test about the healthcare system. I woke up on Tuesday morning with pretty severe abdominal cramping. So, I messaged my PCP through My Chart and long story short, I headed to the ER.
Then I thought, OMG I’m going to end up waiting hours in the lobby of the ER.
In fact, I was in the examination room within 10 minutes. 15 minutes later I was being seen by a doctor. One hour later I was getting a CAT scan. 45 minutes later the ER doctor came back with the results of the bloodwork and CAT scan. One hour later, I was seen by a surgeon, all the while my PCP was communicating with me via My Chart. I was immediately put on IV fluids and IV antibiotics. And one hour later, I was comfortably laying in my bed in my room in the hospital and helped out with a pain medication.
I was put on a liquid diet for 24 hours with frequent visits by nurses, nursing assistants, housekeeping staff, food staff, a social worker, and three visits from my new doctor.
My white blood cell count, plummeted, as did my pain.
I wasn’t begging to go home, because I wanted the care I was receiving, and honestly, I could’ve asked to go home at any time, but my doctor thought it would be prudent to be under their care for 48 hours.
Today, the Monday after my discharge, I received an appointment alert from My Chart that they had scheduled a CAT scan. An hour later, I received a phone call from the surgeon’s office scheduling an office appointment, and that’s where things sit today.
Wisdom From My Colon
So, what wisdom did I gain from deep, and I mean deep, within my bosom?
First, I learned that the Patrick Swayze, Roadhouse Rules for working with people really works: Be nice.
And I might add: Smile.
People find it so much easier being nice to you if you’re nice to them and smile. The thing is, these wonderful people that make our healthcare system work are usually, mostly, almost always, going to be nice to you, even if you aren’t nice to them. They’ve learned to thicken their skins.
They know they’re helping people who are, often times, in their darkest hour, and they muster the strength to work with everybody, even those people who give them grief. The healthcare system is full of caring people.
I know that good manners, like saying ‘thank you,’ helps. Here’s the thing, I think being nice to the lovely workers in our healthcare system helps you get better faster.
You’re Really not as Smart as You Think
Second, listen to your doctor, ask questions, and then follow their recommendations.
If you are a constantly doubting your doctor or PCP, if you’ve become cynical toward them, find another doctor or PCP, Or realize you might just be experiencing the Dunning-Kruger effect.
What is the Dunning Kruger Effect?
Here’s a technical definition:
The Dunning-Kruger effect is a cognitive bias where people with low ability in a specific area tend to overestimate their knowledge or competence in that area, often because they lack the skills to accurately assess their own limitations; essentially, the less someone knows about a topic, the more confident they feel in their understanding of it.
Here is my definition:
Maybe it’s time for you just to sit down (and maybe close your mouth) and listen. You think you’re smarter than your doctor or PCP, but you’re not!
If you work on cars, electrical transformers, water pipes, Microsoft Excel, lawn mowers, in a paint shop, (I could go on and on), you’re probably smarter than your doctor on that topic or subject. But just because you know how to Google something doesn’t make you smarter than your doctor or PCP.
Listening to you doctor more and doing what they recommend, would probably add a decade to your life.
When your doctor walks into an examination room, they are the smartest person in the room regarding your health, not you.
This healthcare system works when we listen to our doctor, and yes, ask questions, but then follow their recommendation. That’s what I do.
Listen to Your Body. Get to know it!
Third, pay attention to the pain and what it’s telling you. I was asked about 20 times over a period of 48 hours, “What is your pain level?” I usually came back with three or four. It had been a 9 or 10 the day before.
Now it’s zero. That’s right, zero.
The pain on that Tuesday said: Contact your PCP! The pain on Thursday said: Go to the ER!
Know your body. Know the different kinds of pain. Some pain you can ignore. The healthcare system works best when you know the kind of pain you’re having, and you know the kind of pain you can ignore. Next week when I see my surgeon, I’m going to ask her, “What kind of pain warrants a call to your office?”
Don’t blame the healthcare system if you expect it to take away all your pain.
Do Your Part of the Partnership Between Office Visits
Fourth, no matter how hard the healthcare system tries, and the gadgets they have are wonderful, and the medication is so much better than decade ago, no matter, it cannot undo the neglect from years and decades of a bad diet and a sedentary life.
If there is going to be a partnership that exist between you and the healthcare system, then you have to do your part between visits.
What is your part? I think you know.
Eat right, exercise, and get good sleep.
There has never been a time when there was so much information about these three things. The Internet is full of lots of crap, but there are hundreds and hundreds of websites and podcasts about health and fitness. There is no excuse. Do not expect the healthcare system to undo the mess that you’ve created for yourself.
I teach this principal: What you practice grows stronger.
When people come to see me, I have to help them undo the negative mental and psychological practices that they have been practicing, albeit unknowingly, for decades.
Doctors and nurses are not miracle workers.
They cannot miraculously reverse what you have meticulously practiced, and what you’ve practice without any concern for the irreversible consequences that you’re going to experience.
My bowels taught me a few lessons this past week and a little wisdom.
We have a wonderful healthcare system. Mind you, I haven’t seen the bill yet, but I looked around at everyone who was caring for me and I’m glad to pay them what I think they’re worth.
I feel better now and not just physically. I feel better knowing that as I get older, there is a healthcare system out there that will be my partner, work with me, and take care of me, if I do my part to take care of myself.
