Tag Archive for: healthy aging series

Healthy Aging Series Season 10 Episode 15

On the Shortness of Life | Healthy Aging Series: S10 E15

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I’m sitting at my campsite in the Red River Gorge. It’s mid-spring, which means it’s going to rain all night. No worries. I’m prepared. I have a microfiber tarp that weighs about 1 pound. And of course a Marmot tent. I’ll stay dry until I head back to the trail head in the morning.
As I write this, a Great Horned Owl is calling out. I answer. One more checks in. I love it! Maybe it’s a Barred Owl. Now, there are three.

I am on a Yolo-Solo backpacking trip this weekend. Just one night. By myself. Solo.
I’m always a little apprehensive about solo trips. Nobody to talk to, teach, and cook for. And then there are the safety issues. But I have a Garman-InReach satellite communicator and I’m in great shape. Plus, there are some people nearby that I can see camping. A man and his two young sons. And the Barred Owls. But this is a Yolo-Solo backpacking trip. So I brought  with me a copy of “On the Shortness of Life,“ by Seneca, the Roman Stoic philosopher. I’ve read it before and so I’m guessing that’s why I’m here. In the gorge. By myself. Because life is short. Life is short. Or is it. Seneca writes, “Life is long enough, and it has been given in sufficient, generous measure to allow the accomplishment of the very greatest things if the whole of it is well invested.” 

Seneca had a checkered past. For most of his life he was Nero’s advisor. And then he was banished by Nero until Nero ordered him to kill himself at age 67. But during his last two years he wrote many letters and the pamphlet “On the Shortness of Life.” He was my age when he wrote this essay. How does one invest in life well? I’ll summarize his thoughts.

First, Seneca encourages us to have a guiding principle to live by. He says that many people are “plunged by the fickleness of their plans that are never ever new; some have no fix principles by which to direct their course.”
I remember the movie “City, Slickers” where Mitch Robbins, played by Billy Crystal, is having a midlife crisis. He’s financially successful, and has a wonderful family, but in distress, so he is persuaded by his friends to join them at a dude ranch. He meets a grizzly cowboy named Curley Washburn, played by Jack Palance, who sees his distress. 

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is?
Curly: This.  <He holds up one finger>.
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest of your life don’t mean shit.
Mitch: But what is the one thing?
Curly: <Smiling> That’s what you have to find out.

I think that was what Seneca was saying. My guiding principle is the Golden Rule. I think almost every issue, and every question that you have in relationships, in work, and in business are answered by following that guiding principle. Can you have more than one guiding principle? Of course. But have one.

Second, when it comes to considering the shortness of life, Seneca tells his readers to not allow others to trespass on their lives.
OK, ask yourself, “How many have robbed you of your life when you weren’t aware that you were being robbed?

People will steal your time. You have a limited amount of energy, time, and optimism. Don’t let people steal them. Be intentional about your friendships. Refuse to be a landfill for people’s rubbish. People will dump on you all of the problems that you allow. I know this sounds harsh, but there is only so much of you to go around. Family, friends, work, social groups need you and your time, and if you fritter it away with bystanders, and those that are always needy, then you will have nothing to invest in those that count. Think about social media, and how it steals your time.

Third, Seneca encourages us to “adopt ourselves into other people’s lives, that will open us to the path of immortality, and will raise us to a height from which no one is cast down.” Find people who will help you become a better person. And then, be willing to be that person. I try to be one of those people for my wife, my sons, and my friends. As you age, it gets tough, but not impossible. Your adoptee might be younger than you, but having an adoptee in your life adds instead of detracts from it.

Four, Seneca believed that in light of the shortness of life we need to reflect on all aspects of it. “Don’t forget the past,“ he writes, “or neglect the present, or fear the future.” I love this. If people practiced this, or learned the skill of reflecting, I would mostly be out of a job. I’ll break this concept down more in an upcoming blog.

Five, practice “Serenity Now!” I’ve watched Seinfeld episode #159 where Mr. Costanza was advised by his doctor, based on his self-help relaxation tape, to say “Serenity now!” every time he gets angry, to keep his stress and blood pressure down. But of course, he yells it at the top of his lungs along with his animated hand gestures. Try it. “Serenity now!!” Not quite what Seneca wanted but he warns his readers about the stress and anxiety that come from pursuing prosperity and come from being with the crowds. In contrast to Frank Costanza, Seneca advises us to withdraw into a peaceful harbor. My peaceful harbor is the Jefferson Memorial Forest. My peaceful harbor is the high desert of Utah. My peaceful harbor is the Grand Canyon in Arizona. And it is sitting on my deck quietly, calming my mind, paying attention to the present. My peaceful harbor includes spending those quiet moments with my wife and my kitties.

Six, Seneca writes, “In this kind of life there awaits much that is good to know, the love and the practice of virtues, forgetfulness of the passions, knowledge of living and dying, and a life of deep repose.”

He advocates, humility, against pride, kindness against envy, abstinence against gluttony, chastity against lust, patience against anger, liberality against greed, and diligence against sloth
I think this is the kind of life that Seneca was encouraging his readers to engage in.

Seven and finally, Seneca encouraged his readers to enjoy the life that they have now. It seemed that there was a crowd that spent much of their life crafting an epitaph that would be on their tombstone. Some had gone so far as to have a tombstone erected with the pre-inscribed epitaph. Epitaphs that matter are the people that you have touched while you lived. Be less worried about what people think of you after you’re gone and more concerned about how people feel about you now.

I’ll be Seventy in less than two years.  I have a certain kinship with Seneca. Life is short, but long enough to accomplish what you want to do if you invest it well. 

One question I have for you is, “Are you investing your life well?” I encourage you to pick up his small pamphlet and read it. And then use it as a guide for making the most of what you have left.

TO READ MORE ENTRIES IN THE HEALTHY AGING SERIES, CLICK HERE.

Healthy Aging Series Season 10 Episode 14

Your Brain on Alcohol | Healthy Aging Series: S10 E14

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I have read “Lonesome Dove,” by Larry McMurtry, at least five times. In the opening scene, Gus McCray saunters out to the well house to fetch his jug of Tennessee Whiskey. It’s been a long hot day in south Texas. The sun is setting, and he sits on the porch, takes a couple of long gulps from his jug, getting, as he described it, a little misty. That was his daily ritual.

I love that scene. I love the character that McMurtry created. He’s an aging man, enjoying his life and his daily drink in the evening. I confess that I like that evening, misty feeling that I get from a dinner cocktail, pint of beer, or a glass of wine. 

Things changed about five or six years ago when I started wearing a Fitbit that tracks my sleep. I started noticing that my heart rate did not drop as much or as quickly when I had even one drink, regardless of the time of day. It really didn’t go up; it just took a good part of the night to drop down to the low 50s. Eating sugar before retiring also delayed my heart rate from dropping. 

I’m going to spend some time later in this season on the topic of “Your Brain on Sleep,” so save your sleep-questions for later. Of course, the real question is this: Is this effect on my heart rate a problem? I read an article by a cardiologist (New York Times), and they suggested that it wasn’t a problem, but it kind of makes you wonder, as Squirrely Dan from Letterkenny suggested.

Alcohol is Poison

And then there was the Huberman Lab Podcast that I was listening to a couple of years ago where Dr. Andrew Huberman, a neurologist, called alcohol a poison. Yes, he said, if you drink chronically, you will experience neurodegeneration or loss of white and gray matter. Therefore, you should not drink alcohol at all. Alcohol is evil. There is no option other than complete abstinence. Amen.

Here’s a confounding question: Regardless of what you do, or don’t do, eat, or don’t eat, drink or don’t drink, you will lose white and gray matter as you age. The answer is yes. Dr. Huberman isn’t the only medical or mental health professional advising absence, and there are lots of studies,  studies highlighting the deleterious effect of drinking alcohol, especially as we age. 

But there are voices out there that advocate mild to moderate drinking, suggesting that it lowers the risk of everything from stroke to Alzheimer’s Dementia, and that drinking wine is associated with a longer life. Consider the Mediterranean Diet that is touted by many, many, many health professionals that allows for two glasses of red wine daily. And there are several longitudinal studies that suggest drinking alcohol, within reason, is good for you. I’ve read all of the studies or at least most of them. Here are my takeaways:

First, heavy, chronic drinking, is detrimental to your health and mental health. The National Institute of Health advises that if you drink daily, you can have one or two drinks daily. That’s 14 drinks per week.  If you drink less than daily, you can have three drinks, with the caveat that you consume those drinks on a one-drink-per-hour-basis. Still, the 14 drinks per weeks is still in effect.

I don’t want to get lost in the details here, I just want to find common ground! Chronic, heavy drinking is not good for you. Can we all agree on that?

Second, if you are a light to moderate drinker, diet, exercise, and sleep, will have a greater impact on your life than whether or not you drink and by that I mean light to moderate drinking. This also applies to your brain health. Exercising your brain will affect your brain health more positively than the negative effects of alcohol. There are three variables to consider when drinking. 

One, heavy drinkers are more likely to be smokers, which will likely increase mortality. 

Two, wine drinkers are more likely to be more educated, more health conscious, and less obese, which means less diabetes, which means a decrease in risk of early mortality. I suspect that those that have been lifetime abstainers or former drinkers are more health conscious, which again skews the data toward decrease risk of mortality. Dr. Peter Attia was interviewed about his book on healthy aging, “Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity,” and was asked if there was one thing that he would want people to take away from his book, what would it be? His answer: exercise.

Third, there are social benefits to light and moderate drinking. Alcohol isn’t just a social lubricant, but it is also a social adhesive for many aging people. Social isolation can contribute to a decrease in quality of life and maybe sharing a glass of wine with family and friends can serve as a buffer to that isolation.

My Break Up With Alcohol

I made the decision to break up with alcohol on February 27, 2024, six months ago. I based that decision, not on the health issues, whether it was poison or not, or on longevity. Well, maybe my health issues played a small role. So, why did I stop drinking?

First, a book that had a big impact on my use of alcohol was, “This Naked Mind,” by Annie Grace. Her book got me to think about my drinking and, in those very honest moments, I decided that I didn’t enjoy drinking. I enjoyed the taste and those initial moments following my first drink, but I did not, did not, enjoy the physical effects that followed 20 or 30 minutes following that first drink. Honestly, I felt like crap. So, I decided to stop drinking.

Second, I realized that I couldn’t do the things that I enjoyed doing if I had a drink in the evening. I couldn’t focus on reading and writing. I just wanted to go to bed. Reading and writing are important to me, so I decided to stop drinking.

Third, prior to my decision to stop drinking, I attempted to manage my use of alcohol. Ask anyone who knows me. All I ever talked about was managing my alcohol use. I would have a plan, and then the plan would go amuck. I would tell myself that I would only drink 3 or 4 times a week, and then drink every day. 

Part of my frustration was my inability to control something in my life, and that something was alcohol. 

So, I decided to stop drinking. Believe it or not, it has been easier to not drink then it was to manage or control my alcohol use.

Intentional drinking

Considering what I’ve just shared, how should you drink? Is alcohol poison?

When we label alcohol as a poison, we make no progress in helping people drink responsibly and intentionally.

If you’re going to drink intentionally…

First, make the decision to drink within the guidelines of the National Institute of Health:  (Men) 2 drinks if you drink daily, 3 drinks if less than daily. (Women)  1 drink daily, 2 drinks if less than daily. (For men and women) 1 drink per hour. 

Second, if you’re going to drink, exercise 150 minutes a week, eat lots of fruits and vegetables, get 7-8 hours of sleep, and socialize with family and friends.

Third, do I need to mention, if you’re going to drink, don’t smoke cigarettes.

I’m writing this while flying to Denver to visit family. I am wearing my Air Buds with noise reduction. I love them. I hear only the music from my iPhone, mostly. If you’re going to drink intentionally, you need to use  some form of noise reduction and silence the voices that are out there pontificating on the evils of alcohol, or the miraculous benefits of alcohol, and simply live, and enjoy life, and be a little bit like my hero, Gus McCray, who had a healthy routine of getting a little misty as the sun set on Lonesome Dove.

TO READ MORE ENTRIES IN THE HEALTHY AGING SERIES, CLICK HERE.

Healthy Aging Series Season 10 Episode 13

Reflecting on, “Gentle on my Mind: In Sickness and in Health with Glen Campbell,” by Kim Campbell | Healthy Aging Series: S10 E13

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Healthy Aging Series Season 10 Episode 13, True North

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was the Canary Fairy. The proof is the picture. I was a senior at Boonville High School, and it was a skit called “The Tale of the Magic Weenie.“ I loved it! So much fun! Someone once said that life is a stage and we are just actors… stop, I know who wrote that :-). I was acting then and now I guess I am acting on life’s stage. 

The Third Act

I was drawn to a TED talk by Jane Fonda on aging. It was called “The Third Act,” referring to the last third of our lives. She described it as a time of pulling loose ends together. The Third Act is a time of discovering how you became who you are. It’s a time of inner exploration, a time of growth, but, unfortunately, it’s not for some. I read Kim Campbell‘s story of her husband, Glen Campbell. It’s a story in three acts. Glen Campbell died from the effects of Alzheimer’s Dementia. Dementia took away most of his third act. He was still a character performing, but without a script, without memory, and without a hint of who he was.

The First Act

Glenn Campbell’s first act was full of chaos, lots of fame, and fortune. He sold 50 million albums.
He performed with Fleetwood Mac, Kris Kristofferson, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, and Waylon Jennings. He was a familiar face at the White House. He spent most of this act abusing alcohol. Kim writes, “For three days Glen had been drinking around the clock. On the fourth day I woke at 8 PM. Glen was still passed out cold. I put on my pink robe, tied my belt around my belly, six months large with child, and made my way to the kitchen to find something to eat. I walked a careful path around a food-and-obstacle-course of empty booze, bottles, wine bottles, dirty dishes, and empty pizza boxes. Despite the carnage in the kitchen, the morning felt quiet and calm in contrast to the wild night that had proceeded it.”

About another incident she writes, “One night I saw that Glen stumbled into the bathroom naked. I pretended to be asleep. I did this often because I feared that if he knew I was awake, he would begin to rant and keep me up all night. When he did not return, I got up and checked on him only to find him passed out on the cold tile floor. When I saw him lying there, a story he told me about Willie Nelson’s first wife passed through my mind. Martha was so sick of Willie passing out drunk every night that she tied him up in bed sheets and beat the hell out of him with a broom handle.  As tempting as that sounded at the time, I followed what I had learned which was rather than waking Glen up and maneuvering him into bed or putting a pillow under his head and a blanket over him, I left him lying in all his indignity.  He came to bed, shivering cold, and hungover.”
Of course, there were wonderful moments. The birth of his children. Wonderful friendships. His faith experiences. But it was also a time of instability and unpredictability. That was Act One.

Act Two

Kim Campbell describes Act Two as Campbellot.
Really, it was Glen who referred to himself as the king of his little kingdom, he called Campbellot. In Act Two, he walked away from alcohol and drugs. It was the late 1980s.
“Writers wiser than me,” she writes, “have said most stories naturally breakdown into three acts. If that’s the case, I see Glen’s embrace of sobriety as a happy conclusion of the first phase of our life together. The second phase, a gloriously happy one, is about maturation. As we grew in our faith and our love for each other, we finally began to bear the fruit of the spirit. We matured as a couple and as children of God.”

Later she writes, “Winters were in Phoenix, summers in Sedona, the children growing healthy and strong, tour dates everywhere from Seattle to Sydney. Life was serene. Our faith deepened and our spiritual studies intensified.”

The Third Act

Unfortunately, the Third Act brought the return of chaos, instability, unpredictability, and confusion. But this time it wasn’t alcohol; it was Alzheimer Dementia.

Glen was diagnosed in 2010 at the age of 74, but the disease had shown itself years earlier. Alzheimer’s shortened Glen’s Third Act, or rather robbed him of it! I often tell people that you have to prepare for the last 10 years of your life, for your Third Act, but there is little that can prepare you for Alzheimer’s Dementia.

There are preventable types of dementia. Vascular Dementia is typically caused by a stroke. Strokes are 80% preventable by working on your cardiovascular health through a good diet and exercise and decreasing inflammation. I’ll have a complete episode later on inflammation.

True Grit

I watched a documentary about Glen (“Glen Campbell: I’ll Be Me”), about his final tour in 2012, and I watched the 1969 version of True Grit as part of my preparation for this episode. He died in 2017. The book and the movie help fill in the blank spaces. They both celebrate Glen’s life. Glen plays Texas Ranger La Boeuf in the film. The La Boeuf character is full of Texas wisdom. He and Maddie Ross are sparring and talking to Rooster Cogburn while Rooster is intoxicated.

Mattie Ross: I will not bandy words with a drunkard. 

La Boeuf: That’s real smart. You’ve done nothing when you’ve bested a fool. 

True grit is a movie full of true grit. Maddie. Rooster. LaBeouf. They all showed tenacity in the face of adversity. Watch the documentary and the movie!

I think Kim, Glen, and their family showed true grit. True grit comes from love and compassion. I don’t read these dementia memoirs to experience the tragedies, I read them to witness the grit and tenacity that people show in the face of adversity.

TO READ MORE ENTRIES IN THE HEALTHY AGING SERIES, CLICK HERE.

Healthy Aging Series Season 10 Episode 12

Dementia: The Coming Storm (for Many of You) | Healthy Aging Series: S10 E12

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We were headed to Florida for the Thanksgiving holiday. And because we are a little gullible, we paid too much attention to the local news and got to the airport almost 3 hours early. I took a picture of the almost empty Muhammad Ali International airport. Our flight had 37 empty seats. I hate the holiday hype.

The weather reports are almost as bad. I’ve canceled many backpacking trips because forecasters have exaggerated coming storms. I know it’s hype when they give the storm a name. But then again, sometimes they hit the bullseye

I was in the Grand Canyon in 2019 and needed to hike out with my 20-year-old nephew. There is nothing easy about hiking out of the Grand Canyon. The weather report predicted blizzard conditions and that’s what we got. We were halfway out and the 50-mile-an-hour winds hit. I’m guessing the wind chill was close to 0 degrees. I stopped and changed into a dry shirt, but my nephew refused. Stubborn like his mother. He almost froze to death, at least that’s what I thought when we hit Cedar Ridge and he was howling with pain every time the wind gusted to 60-miles-an hour. So maybe, it’s helpful listening to the weather report, sometimes.

This season is entitled “It’s all About the Engine,” by which I mean the brain. I want to tell you about a storm that is coming for many of us, and mark my words, I’m not bullshitting you. This storm has a name and it’s Dementia. Don’t change the channel. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bad news. I read a book at the airport and on the flight to Tampa. It’s the “2023 Dementia Overview 19 Dementia Types, and Symptoms,” by Jerry Beller Health Research Institute.
It’s the most current research on dementia in one book. I’m going to hit the highlights of the book. I’ll give you the bad news and the good news. And yes, there are some things you can do. By the way, I watched a new movie directed by Michael Keaton called “Knox Goes Away”, in which he performs as a man who is diagnosed with a very rare type of dementia called, Creutzfeld-Jacob Disease. He’s a hitman and three weeks to live. It’s good!


Nineteen Types of Dementia

There are several types of dementia, 19 in fact. The big dog is Alzheimer’s Disorder. I’ll be sharing the lives of several people who developed Alzheimer’s Disorder: B. Smith, Glenn Campbell,  and Ronald Reagan to name a few. You probably haven’t heard about Lewy Body Dementia. I’m sure you’ve heard about Parkinson’s Disorder. Both involve Lewy Bodies, which are clumps of protein that kills brain cells. People with Parkinson’s Disease, 50 to 80%, often develop dementia. Then there’s Frontal-Temporal Dementia. I know you’ve heard of Bruce Willis. He has Frontal-Temporal Dementia. With this type of dementia, you lose your ability to communicate.


There is Vascular Dementia. This type of dementia often follows a stroke and involves a loss of blood flow to brain cells and consequently they die.
There are several additional types of dementia, but these are the top four. I do want to talk about one that has the headlines, especially in the sports world and it’s CTE, Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy. I’ll write more about it later, but this type of dementia is caused by chronic injuries to the brain. Symptoms usually follow years or decades down the road. I worked with a father who described playing youth football and doing drills where two teammates practice by colliding helmet to helmet. As a man in his 40s, he struggled to do basic household chores, and parenting, all early signs of dementia.

Vascular Dementia is caused by strokes and other conditions that restrict the flow of blood to the brain. The main arterial-restrictive condition is most often Arterial Sclerosis or Coronary Artery Disease.

There are three risk factors for Vascular Dementia:
High blood pressure, inflammation, and smoking.

Stroke is Preventable

Generally speaking, artery disease is preventable with diet and exercise. Vascular Dementia accounts for 20% of dementia cases and is mostly preventable.

 

When I wrote about brain health earlier in this season, I asserted, “What’s good for the heart, is good for the brain.” I will do an episode later in this season on stroke prevention to supplement what I’ve already written. I’ll do a deeper dive into vascular dementia because it’s one of the most preventable of brain disorders. Almost eight-hundred-thousand people experience a stroke each year, which often results in Vascular Dementia. The CDC has asserted that 80% of strokes are preventable, let me say that again, 80% of strokes are preventable!


Symptoms of Alzheimer’s Might Be Preventable

It’s also worth noting that there was some positive news from a study entitled the Nun Study. In this study, Sister Mary, who lived to be 101 years old, was evaluated at the time of her death and had very high cognitive scores, and at the same time showed neurological signs of Alzheimer’s Disorder.

Here’s What You Can do to Prevent Dementia: Move and Eat Right

I hope you see the positive message in this episode. Yes, there are types of dementia that we don’t understand the causality but, there are things that we can do, things that can decrease our risk of developing dementia. Most of these things include moving and eating right. Imagine that, no meds, no treatment, or supplements, just eating fruits and vegetables, and moving at least 150 minutes per week.

Let me close out by bringing some very sobering news about dementia.

How bad is dementia? It’s devastating!
You lose the people you love. The people that love you, lose you. Think about an hour glass. The sands at the top are you. The bottom section reflects the not you. Eventually, all the sand is gone. Memories. Relationships. Experiences. All that makes you a person, is gone. That’s what dementia does. You die, but your body is still alive. You are gone. The people that you fell in love with are gone. The quirks and personality that lit up the room are gone. The strong shoulder to lean on is gone. The fountain of learning is gone. Your brain dies slowly and the you that makes you a person is gone. The sand in the hourglass disappears and you were gone. It doesn’t matter what type of dementia. It is a sad and tragic end to a full and adventuresome life.

That my friends is what you have to look forward to with Dementia. It isn’t forgetting where you left your keys. It’s forgetting your children, your spouse, your love. It’s forgetting your grandchildren, your trips, your addresses, your profession, your religion, your political affiliation, and all that you now cherish about your life. 

Dementia more than sucks. It is the most horrific thing that you can imagine for yourself or a family member.

If this scares you, I want it to scare you. This season is about the aging brain, “It’s all about the engine.” 

Keep reading because there is good news. There is something you can do. It has to do with eating and moving. You know where I’m going. Let’s look deeper.

TO READ MORE ENTRIES IN THE HEALTHY AGING SERIES, CLICK HERE.

The Magic Necklace, Healthy Aging Series: S10 E11

The Magic Necklace | Healthy Aging Series: S10 E11

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The Magic Necklace

By Mark Neese

There once was a King who had a very beautiful daughter. He loved her very much.

When the Princess was a young child, the King lost his Queen to an unknown illness. This caused him to constantly worry about the welfare of his daughter. As she grew older, he would lecture her about the dangers of the world. “It is full of disease and death,” he explained. He warned her about the untrustworthy people in the world, especially men. “Men want only one thing,” he expounded. 

He also worried about what would happen to her when he was gone. “You can never have enough gold and jewels,” he would tell her almost daily. “You need to prepare for the calamities that are sure to befall you.” As such, she was afraid to spend even a small coin and enjoy her money. 

In fact, she was afraid of almost everything. She was afraid of death, of failing, afraid of the future and living alone, and afraid of living itself. Most importantly, she was afraid of being happy and finding love. 

But as the Princess grew older, despite her fears, she grew lonely. She desired a companion. 

The King, however, feared that if the Princess found a companion, she would leave his safety and eventually fall victim to an illness or other misfortune. He determined to imprison any suitor that attempted to see his daughter. Suitors came from all over the region and beyond because of her exotic beauty, but they were captured en route and imprisoned.

One day, while the King was holding court, a Huntsman presented himself before the King and the Princess. The Princess was immediately enthralled with the Huntsman. She was taken by his earthiness, by his simplicity, and by his self-confidence. But what was most consoling about him was his fearlessness. 

When the King noticed her response to the Huntsman, he immediately went into a panic. He imprisoned the Huntsman; and to ensure that the Princess would never again come into contact with another potential suitor, he had her taken into the wilderness. She was taken to a small cabin and she was provided with the provisions necessary to live. 

There she lived in fear. Out of fear, she would not venture from the cabin. She did not see the Sunrise or Sunset. She did not see the Moon or the stars. She did not see or hear the small creatures outside the cabin. For the longest of time, she sat almost paralyzed, in that small cabin in the wilderness. 

Then, one day, there came a knock on the cabin door. The Princess opened the door and noticed a kind-looking old woman standing at the threshold. She invited her in, and they shared a meal and warm drink. When the meal was over and as they sat together, the princess shared her story and her fears with the visitor. She began to sob, and the old woman came to her and held her tightly. As an act of kindness, she told the princess that she would help, and she pulled a very simple necklace from her pack. “I once feared everything like you do,” she said. “Many years ago this necklace helped me to break free from my fears. Put it around your neck tonight before you sleep. You will dream three dreams. In the morning you will wake, and your fears will be gone.” She kissed the Princess on the forehead and left.

As the young Princess lay in bed, clutching the necklace that was hanging from her neck, she slowly drifted off to sleep.

Dream One: The Mountain

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In her first dream she found herself on a mountain. She walked to the pinnacle and there she saw an older woman with beautiful flowing gray hair. The woman gestured for the Princess to sit with her and she wrapped the younger woman in a heavy blanket. She pulled the Princess close to her. “Watch what happens,” the older woman said. Soon a panorama opened. Clouds moved in and surrounded the mountain. A cold wind blew in and they watched as the mountain was battered with snow. 

The clouds slowly moved on and the sun began to glisten off the snow. She watched as snow melted and formed small streams flowing down the mountain. She watched this repeat itself over and over again. 

Then she watched as the days began to lengthen. The sun set later in the day. It was warming. The older woman lowered the heavy blanket from their shoulders. It was still cool, but the trees were sprouting buds and leaves, and eventually flowering. More wildlife was seen scrambling through the brush and green foliage. Thunder clouds would form. Lightening boomed and struck the mountain. The storms raged day after day.

Soon the storms were replaced by warm days and nights. The sun began to radiate off the rocks. “No need for this blanket,” she said and smiled. The evenings produced swarms of insects. The days were full of warm breezes and earthy smells. Playful animals would chase each through the wooded areas.

The days began to shorten, and the nights began to get cooler. When it rained, the droplets were cold. The leaves of the trees began to turn a golden yellow and soon began falling to the ground. They bundled themselves up again.

Soon the leaves began falling, snow fell on the mountain. 

As the young Princess sat and watched the seasons come and go on the mountain, the older woman took her hand and said, “It is unchanged by thousands of seasons, thousands of storms, and thousands frozen and sun-parched days.”  The Princess felt herself become the mountain, and she drifted off to sleep. 

She woke from the dream clutching the necklace.

Dream Two: The Canyon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Princess drifted off to sleep again and found herself walking down into a very deep and wide canyon. She walked down through the strata of granite and sandstone; walking deeper she went until she came to a river. It was a shallow river with aqua green water. On its sandy bank sat a very small golden man. He gestured for her to come sit next to him on the white beach. She took off her shoes, walked on the warm sand, and sat next to him. “This was my home,” he said, and instantly a small village appeared on the opposite bank of the shallow river. He took her hand and together they crossed the river. Adults were working throughout the village. Some were making pots. Others were making clothing. Still, some sat together telling stories. The princess followed the golden man to the circle of Storytellers, and they sat and listened. 

The stories were very old. Hundreds and hundreds of years old. Stories of grandmothers and grandfathers, and of great-great-great grandmothers and grandfathers. Stories about famines and floods. Stories about the healing of sick children. Stories of great hunts. There were stories of friendships and skirmishes with neighbors. The stories were full of hundreds and thousands of thousands of people. Each person lived, and breathed, and loved in this village. Each person had walked on the warm sand and rinsed off in the aqua green water. Each person with a full life and a beautiful story. Each one, now gone for hundreds and even thousands of years.

As the young Princess and the little golden man sat in the circle listening to the stories, the storytellers began to disappear as did the rest of the village. Soon they were there alone, and the Princess was full of sadness because of all the death and loss, and she wept. The little man drew near to her and met her eyes with his eyes. “Do not be sad, sweet princess,” he softly said. “This place was full of life and love. It was full of births and courage. It was lived in and laughed in for centuries.” 

“One day,” he said, “hundreds and maybe even thousands of years from now, they will tell your story. They will tell the stories of your love, life, pain, and joys, and yes, even your death.”

“Living is dying,” he whispered. He held her, much like a loving grandfather would hold his grandchild. He patted her back, and she felt every muscle in her body relax, like she was floating in the aqua green water. She drifted off to sleep in his arms.  

The Princess woke from her second dream, the necklace still hanging from her neck. She touched it and felt comforted as she drifted off to sleep again. 

Dream Three: The Meadow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The young Princess found herself in a beautiful meadow. It was full of tall grass that moved like waves in the wind. Clusters of flowers were everywhere. Insects were buzzing between clusters. 

Small creatures were seen nibbling on the foliage. Rabbits and Woodchucks feasted on the lush grass. Hummingbirds hovered over the flowers and were oblivious to everything else. In fact, no creature seemed concerned about anything.

As the Princess walked through the meadow she noticed a beautiful little girl walking toward her. “Play with me,” the little girl said, holding out her hand. And they played.

They ran together through the meadow. They sloshed through the streams and made mud pies. They picked flowers and ate mulberries. They climbed trees. 

Later as the sun was setting, they watched as the sky turned red, then orange, then yellow, then green, then blue, then indigo, and finally violet. 

When the moon rose, they found a spot and used the grass as a bed. They laid next to each other and felt each other’s warmth. Looking into the sky, they followed the planets as they move through the darkness. 

As they lay there together, in the meadow, on the little grass bed, the Princess looked over at the beautiful little girl and she envied her. The little girl did not have a care in the world, she thought. And when the little girl saw this she said, “I have everything that I need.” 

The Princess held the little girl, and in that moment, she realized that she too had everything that she needed. She drifted off to sleep.

As the sun began to rise the Princess slowly woke. The necklace was still around her neck. She touched it and smiled. 

She gathered her few belongings and traveled through the wilderness, finally arriving home. She immediately noticed a solemn mood in the castle and discovered that the King had died in his sleep the night before. 

The princess rushed to the place where the Huntsman and all of the suitors were being held and she released them.  With the help of the Huntsman, she laid to rest her father, the King. Wonderful stories would be told about the old King and his Queen for hundreds and hundreds of years.

The Princess became the Queen and the Huntsman, her Prince. And they ruled their kingdom with love and simplicity, and most important, with fearlessness. 

And they lived happily ever after. 

TO READ MORE ENTRIES IN THE HEALTHY AGING SERIES, CLICK HERE.

Healthy Aging Series Season 10 Episode 10

Your Brain on a Hobby | Healthy Aging Series: S10 E10

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This is Your Brain on a Hobby

Last spring, I planned a camping trip with my three brothers. Really it was a short backpacking trip. I told them I was channeling my mother, as in, being an anchor for my siblings holding us together. 

The Aging Neese Boys

We are all in our 60s and I tailored the trip for them since they are not backpackers. 1 mile in and 1 mile out with an elevation increase of 100 feet. Easy Peezy. They loved it and I loved it. 

We talked about healthy aging, and the things you need to do to prepare for healthy aging. My brother Tim said, “Don’t forget you need a hobby!” 

Backpacking is My Hobby

I am lucky. My hobby is backpacking. Here is a brief description of what I do. I take a 60 liter backpack and fill it with a tent, a sleeping pad, a sleeping bag (40° bag for the summer and 20° bag for the fall winter and spring), a stove, food (mostly freeze dried), a satellite communication device, or a Garman, a battery pack, a chair, a titanium cooking pan, a cup and dishes, a water filter, a headlamp, and whatever snacks I want. My preferred weight for a backpack is less than 30 pounds. I’ve packed in as much as 75 to 80 pounds at the Canyonlands National Park, where I had to pack in 16 L of water, that’s probably close to 35 pounds of water. Then I saddle up and pack into a remote area: Red River Gorge, Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Canyonlands NP, Grand Canyon NP, or something local. Three to 5 miles is a good distance for a first day. I prefer backpacking with someone, but I also enjoy the solitude of being by myself. Hence, I carry a Garman satellite communicator.  

Me Doing My Hobby in Canyonlands National Park

There’s nothing easy about this hobby. I train every week so that I can do what I enjoy doing. That means putting on a 45-pound backpack and doing hill-repeats once a week. That means I’m on trails three or maybe four times a week. That means I do a lot of resistance training and core training.  This last year, I did what I call a “death march.” I was backpacking with two younger men, almost 20 years younger, in Canyonlands National Park, Utah. We were headed to the Peekaboo Campground named for a small opening in the canyon wall, providing a shortcut to the adjacent canyon, mimicking what you might see when you use your hands to cover your face playing peekaboo. In Canyonlands, everything looks like something else. Elephant canyon has elephants standing at this entrance. The Needles look, well not exactly like needles, but more like the rockets built by SpaceX. I guess like space needles. The slickrock formations look like waves of limestone and get their name from the early settlers because their horses and metal rimmed wheels couldn’t get safe traction. Backpackers welcome the slickrock as it gives them a break from trudging on sandy trails through the canyons, feeling like you’re doubling your mileage. Canyonlands National park is located in the southeastern part of Utah near Moab.  I say, near Moab, but the Needles District is 85 miles from Moab. 

I’m a Backpacking Nerd

I could go on and on about the places where I backpack….and so I will!

Canyonland National Park is one of the most isolated places in the continental United States. It has three districts: The Maze, The Needles, and Island in the Sky, which is nearest to Moab, which means more people. The line to get into Island in the Sky could be a couple miles long at times. In contrast, the Hans Flatt Ranger Station, in The Maze, is 50 miles from the nearest paved road. The drive is beautiful, but you need to be able to navigate large sand dunes that form across the road. To get to the trailhead, you need a four-wheel-drive vehicle for the 30-mile trek that usually takes two hours. There are no lines getting into The Maze and on a four-day backpacking trip you might see five or 10 people, all kindred souls. On our trip to Peekaboo, we got to the trailhead at 3 PM, which would’ve been good if we were staying in Lost Canyon Campground (LC 1) where I usually stay,  but the Peekaboo Campground was 2 1/2 miles past LC 1. The problem was, we couldn’t get reservations for LC 1,  so we were committed to Peekaboo campground.  And then, there’s the October heat. I would never backpack in Canyonland in the summer or winter, it’s too hot and too cold. October can be a little warm as well. Heat drains the energy out of you. We saddled up and headed to Peekaboo and hit our first slip rock formation. it was a relief. We hit LC 1, which would’ve been a great place to stop but pushed on.

Hobbies Aren’t Always Fun

I remember describing some of my “hobby adventures” to my father. His regular comment was, “Kimberly (that’s what my parents called me), that doesn’t seem like fun.” Backpacking into Canyonlands usually isn’t fun, but it is so rewarding!

I’m not sure when my two backpacking buddies got into the Peekaboo Campground, but it was well past dark, and I was using my headlamp for the last hour. The darkness was disorienting and with my headlamp it was difficult following the cairns, those little piles of stones marking the train. I pulled into the campground, drank as much water as I could drink, and went to bed being completely exhausted. 

I won’t tell you how the rest of the three-day trip went, but I wanted to give you a little idea of what I do when I backpack. It is challenging and rewarding at the same time. The landscape is beautiful. The night sky is always full of the stars, with a dim view of the Milky Way when there is no moon. Oftentimes, when there’s a moon and I’m backpacking, it’s almost as if somebody has turned on the streetlights in the neighborhood. Regardless of how warm it gets during the day, the high desert cools down for a very comfortable sleep.

This is my hobby. My hobby challenges me and takes me into places where very few people have been. I’ve backpacked into the John Muir Wilderness to a place called Guitar Lake, which sits at the western side of Mount Whitney. Very few people have been in that part of the country on foot. I’ve been to Alaska Basin in the Tetons in August. The sides of the basin are covered with wildflowers . I’ve done solo backpacking trips into the Grand Canyon and into the Red River Gorge. Hiking is also one of my hobbies which brings nearly the same experiences. I’ve explained to people that backpacking and hiking are a form of high intensity interval training, especially when you hike in Kentucky due to all the hills. My cardio health is excellent according to my Fitbit watch. Remember: What’s good for the heart, is good for the brain. One of the things that backpacking does is, it creates a situation where you are likely to dissociate while you’re on the trail. You let your mind go and allow your unconscious thoughts to come to consciousness. Often times, when I’m hiking or backpacking, I am having some of my most creative thoughts and ideas.

I thoroughly enjoyed my time with my brothers backpacking in the Hoosier National Forest this past spring. It gave me an opportunity to get out into the woods, stay out all night in the wild, and enjoy the company of those who enjoy the sport as well. 

What’s your hobby?

 My brother Tim’s hobbies are painting, hunting, and playing the guitar. They bring him lots of satisfaction, and I think are helping to slow down his aging process. Really, that’s what a good hobby should do. It should slow down the aging process.

Your hobby doesn’t have to be as extreme like my hobby, but find one that you can develop a passion for, and then fill your life with it as you age, and it will slow down the aging process, and possibly even save your life.

TO READ MORE ENTRIES IN THE HEALTHY AGING SERIES, CLICK HERE.

How to Leave Footprints When You’re Gone, Healthy Aging Series S10 E9

How to Leave Footprints When You’re Gone | Healthy Aging Series: S10 E9

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I recently read Betty White’s book, “If You Ask Me (And Of Course You Won’t).”

It’s not a memoir. It’s more like a series of Hallmark Cards, very short chapters with a photo of Betty, and a pet or a friend, each chapter with a pithy answer to a question that we were all dying to ask but didn’t. 

What did I learn? 

Betty White didn’t own a computer or have email. 

She had wonderful friendships that brought her joy. 

She watched her weight every day and if she put on a pound, she would eat less the next day. She laughed a lot with others and at herself. 

She worked hard and memorized her lines even as she grew older. 

She took risks despite her anxiety. 

She had a passion and writes, “If you live without passion, you can go through life without leaving any footprints.”

Her book is a good read and a fast read. She reminded me a lot of my mom, Betty Neese, “My Betty White.”
Both of them were from the same generation, and both left huge footprints behind.

My Own Betty White

My mother never touched a computer keyboard. She shared a cell phone with my father. She had a nice flatscreen TV. I am told that she had driven a car when she was younger, but I never remember seeing her drive a car. 

My only vivid car-memory of her was helping her into my Nissan Xterra the way you would see people hoisted onto a horse. She pulled and I pushed. It’s a great memory! 

She lived a simple life. Can you imagine a life without email? There was no Amazon Prime. There were no streaming channels. Each morning, she would amble down the street to the Hardee’s on the corner and drink coffee with her friends. 

She complained that she hated watching all of her friends die. 

And then it was her turn.

Since I was a Baptist Minister in a previous life, I asked to deliver her eulogy. It wasn’t difficult to find good words about Betty Neese, My Betty White. I want to share with you my message. The good words that I shared that day at the Unity Church in Evansville, Indiana, November 1, 2015.

We are here to celebrate Mom’s life, and of course it’s no accident that today is All Saints Day.

If we were mom’s Angels, then she was our Saint. She learned lots of lessons during her almost 87 years. I want to share a few of those lessons with you.

  1. Mom learned to adjust to the things that would not adjust to her.
    This was demonstrated by accepting her husband, her children, and her grandchildren for who they were, and not attempting to change them, or fashion them into someone else. She wasn’t perfect and maybe she might’ve been a little judgy. But did anyone feel in any way that  Mom and Dad didn’t fully love and accept you for who you were? I’m not sure we realize how fortunate that we were to be able to bask in that sun. There is no medicine, no psychology, no politics, and no religion that is more potent than love, acceptance, and forgiveness. Mom and dad were two of the most accepting people I’ve known. They wanted us to be strong and independent. They knew better than to attempt to change us into their versions of us. Mom adjusted to the things that would not adjust to her.
  2. Despite her losses and tragedies, she learned to see the sunshine. Life has a way of challenging our beliefs. Mom lost three of her children when they were infants, and she lost her husband. Despite the clouds, she made it sunny for herself and for us. She kept living to the very end. I love the quote from Shawshank Redemption where Red says that, “We’ve got to get busy living or get busy dying.” Mom spent her life living. Mom lived her life with curiosity, wonder, and openness. One of her favorite words was serendipity, which I interpret as happy accidents. It meant accepting life on life‘s terms, and being receptive to the little moments, and the surprises that come your way. That was Mom‘s sunshine. The simple things. Mom lived a very simple life and was happy with that simple life. She lived in her little apartment with almost no money, no success, no fame, unless you count her celebrity appearance on the O’Reilly Factor.

We were Mom’s sunshine. We created those serendipitous moments for her through our phone calls, books, visits, pictures, and our visits with her to Hardee’s during her coffee time. The secret that I believe Mom practiced was to not expect those happy accidents. She let them come to her, recognized them, and enjoyed them. Sometimes we have to wait for the sunshine.

3. There was an additional lesson that Mom learned: Major on the Majors. Most of us know what happened in the 1960s with Grandma Louise. She stopped seeing us for five years. And for what reason? Religion??? I loved Grandma and Mom loved her too, but shame on Grandma Louise. Grandma was majoring in the minors. Both of my Grandmothers did, and Mom would agree, it was over stupid shit!

Mom learned the pain and misery that comes from majoring on the minors. She saw how stupid shit separated parents from children, siblings from each other,  grandparents from their grandchildren, and friends from friends. Shame on us if we let stupid shit like religion, politics, mistakes in the past, money, mis-spoken words, who you live with or are in love with, who you sleep with or bring home separate us from others. None of it is worth separating you from family.


Betty Neese witnessed the isolation, separation, and pain that came from majoring on the minors. If Betty and Jerry Neese have a legacy, it is that they raised tolerant, forgiving, and accepting children, who have raised tolerant, forgiving, and accepting children. 

A lot more could be said about Mom. 

She had what seemed like an insatiable hunger for learning new things. I loved bringing her books, and she cherished them. She loved her friends. And she was a very good friend. She loved talking about religion. My only regret is that I didn’t spend more time answering her questions about religion. She was a talker.

By your fruit you will know them. Betty and Jerry Neese planted a lot of seed and we are the fruit. We will miss them and feel a little bit lost at times, but we will see them in each other when we come together. We will see them as we accept each other, recognize the happy accidents, and major on the majors, not on the stupid shit. Amen.

Betty White chose to not have children. She helped raise three daughters that her husband brought to the marriage.

Betty Neese had 12 children. Raised nine. She left many footprints.

TO READ MORE ENTRIES IN THE HEALTHY AGING SERIES, CLICK HERE.

The Art of Exuberant Aging, Healthy Aging Series S10 E8

The Art of Exuberant Aging | Healthy Aging Series: S10 E8

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“The Swedish Art of Aging Exuberantly,” by Margareta Magnusson

I’m sitting at Muhammad Ali international airport, drinking a fancy drink from Starbucks, as I head to Colorado to visit my son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughters.

After a five-day visit with my family, I’ll meet my wife at the Denver Airport, and then we’ll fly to Phoenix and eventually end up at Grand Canyon National Park.

My Feats of Strength

I’ve been training for a Rim to River to Rim hike in one day. That means 18 miles, and 10,000+/- feet of elevation. It should take about 10 hours. I’ll start at 4:30 AM and hopefully finish at 2:30 PM. When I’m done, I get a kiss from my wife. A high five, and then lots of food, a nap, and a beer. Repeat next year.

I’ve been training. I have a 45-pound backpack in my jeep, and I’ve been doing hill repeats for the past six weeks. I’ve spent lots of time in the Jefferson Memorial Forests and lots of miles on trails. I stopped my weight loss diet and I focused on fueling my body. You shouldn’t train for this type of endurance feat and try to lose weight at the same time.

I’m ready. I’ll maybe hike the Manitou Incline this Sunday as a prep hike. It’s a 1-mile trail that gains 2000 feet of elevation. It’s up the side of a mountain. I should be able to get to the top in about 75 minutes. Mind you, that’s what it takes me to quickly walk 5 miles.

Exuberant Aging

Is this exuberant aging? Maybe. I’m 67 years old. Some would say I’m aging exuberantly. I recently read, “The Swedish Art of Aging Exuberantly,” by Margareta Magnusson. It’s her follow up to “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning,” which I wrote about last year in this very blog. So, what’s her take on exuberant aging?

First, Margareta is Swedish and in her mid-80s. She’s not out doing a Rim to River to Rim Grand Canyon Hikes. She’s not cycling 50 to 100 miles on the weekend. Her definition of exuberance is a little different from mine. I would’ve suggested getting a personal trainer when she was in her 60s to help her with her stability and mobility. That might have prevented the fall and hospitalization and rehab that follow a fall. But despite her physical vulnerabilities (a serious fall in her 80’s), I loved her spirit and attitude about life, and after all, exuberant living is not just about running half marathons and 5K‘s. Exuberant Aging is the ability to maintain a youthful spirit despite the loss of youthfulness. It is a physical thing, but mostly, it’s a refusal to mentally give in to the aging process.

So, here are my takeaways about exuberant aging:

1. “Never give up never surrender!” Dr. Lazarus from Galaxy Quest. I think this is what Magnusson would say. Margareta lived exuberantly by not throwing in the towel, and by keeping her head in the game.

First, a few things about my aging process:

I see myself slowing down, and I mean that literally. My times are getting slower doing the same distance. My recovery time is getting longer. Whereas, it might’ve just taken one day of recovery from a six- or 10-mile hike, I now need to take sometimes three days to recover. My energy levels are dropping, ergo, I’ve focused more on energy conservation. I can’t handle the same volume levels in weight training that I did 10 or 20 years ago. I do less sets and reps and never heavy weights. Magnusson writes, “I don’t have as much energy now, but I help seniors learn how to maintain and use the Internet.” Magnusson isn’t doing any half marathons, but she does her best to stay as active as she possibly can. “Right now, spring is around the corner,“ she writes. “I look out the window and long to get started with my gardening. When you are my age, it is important to fill your mind and days with stuff to do; planning, helping, thinking, and moving around as much as you can.” “Some of that time,” she concludes, “should be spent laughing.” “It is never too late to do anything,” she writes, “unless it really is too late, and you are dead.” I love it.

It is my plan to keep doing the Canyon until I can’t, to keep hiking those 10-to-12-mile hikes in the Jefferson Forest until I’m not able to, to keep learning, and to never give up, to never surrender.

2. Magnusson is aging exuberantly by embracing the negatives in aging. “There seems to be no choice,“ she suggests “then to see each and every burden, every nuisance, every pain, as something that is also dear, something that I must find a way to cherish.“

What do we embrace?

We embrace the loss of memory, loss of vision, and hearing, and the loss of friends, family, and sometimes partners.

We embrace the annoyances of aging like being treated as if we’re invisible and of needing to repeat ourselves all the time.

We embrace the problem of waking up at 2, 3, or 4 AM.

We embrace getting lab work that reflects a decline in our kidney function, or high potassium levels, or rising PSA.

We embrace the lower back pain, or hip pain, or knee pain.

We “step into” our fears, into our losses, and into our pain.

3. Magnuson practices, reflecting or “airing out memories,” to live or age exuberantly. Reflecting can energize us.

“Memory helps us retrieve events with people,” she writes, “people we want to remember. But my closest ones are always within and next to me, and I don’t need to think about things we did or said. Some people just become part of you and that feels comforting.” Much of Magnusson’s book is reflecting about her husband, her children, and her moves around the world. Remembering and reflecting seemed to give her energy to keep living and aging exuberantly. Throughout our lives we do, in non-clinical terms, something we call stuffing. It has been called compartmentalizing as well, and it can suck the energy from our lives. We need to air out everything, because if we don’t air that stuff out, we do what depth therapists call compensation. It’s the energy that we use to keep unpleasant thoughts and memories in our shadow. This is not good, so airing out and reflecting, is very helpful and beneficial toward aging exuberantly.

4. Another way that Magnusson energizes herself and helps her age exuberantly is by giving back. Magnussen suggests that we have two options as we get older:

Giving up or Giving Back

The symbol of giving up is the rocking chair. “The rocking chair is our most dangerous invention,” she warns. “More people die from unhealthy conditions that are exacerbated by sitting too much than anything else.” Giving back is the remedy for the rocking chair.

Magnusson began volunteering at a children’s library, and it energized her. She surrounded herself with younger people. “Happiness,” she explains, “is being surrounded by the young. My father knew it. I know it. And if you’re 80 years old, even a 70-year-old is younger than you.”

If you believe that you have learned anything in the aging process, if you have something that young people would benefit from hearing about or seeing, if you have learned how to navigate life and have learned how to become your authentic self, then infecting others with this wisdom will benefit them and energize you.

I don’t purposely seek out younger people, but I have several in my life. Maybe they’re drawn to a person that wants to give back.

My Version of Aging Exuberantly

These are a few of the things that energized Magnusson and lead to her exuberant aging. There are more in her book. I suggest reading it.

Now, I’ll share a few things that energize me. Keep in mind I am 20 years younger than Magnusson.

First, setting fitness goals energizes me. I don’t run marathons or cycle across states anymore, but I schedule challenging hikes and climbs throughout my year. Then, in the months leading up to the challenge, I do as much as I can to prepare for that challenge. I shared earlier my upcoming hike into the Grand Canyon. There will come a day that I am not able to do the Canyon or climb Fourteeners in Colorado, but I will hopefully still be able to hike in the Jefferson Memorial Forest, or cycle through the Parklands, and that will energize me as well.

Second, solitude energizes me. I love hiking by myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love the times that I’m with hiking and backpacking partners. Being in the forest with others adds a good dimension to the hike, but going solo allows me to be in my head in a good way, and I feel energized when I am done. In the hiking world, there is something called “hiker dissociation.” It happens when you’re on a one- or two-hour hike and then you stop thinking, or purposely thinking. You turn off your ego and allow thoughts, feelings, memories, or ideas to come to consciousness. Some people describe it as meditation. I don’t. It’s more like shadow work or active imagination as suggested by Carl Jung.

Sometimes I invite shadow figures to hike with me like my mom and dad, but mostly I let happen what happens. And I feel energized.

Third, art energizes me! More specifically, I mean being creative energizes me, and even more specifically, writing energizes me. I’ve been writing blogs for the past four years. I’ve been on again off again, and I can tell you that my psychic energy is up when I am “on again.” This summer I’m going to focus on personal essays. I’m getting excited about the process.

I love 70s music. I have reacquainted myself with Edgar Winter. While I was building a 70s playlist for an upcoming hike, I stumbled onto a song written by him in 1971 called, “Dying to Live.“ I’m writing a blog on it as we speak. Again, I am energized by music.

Fourth, people energize me! I am by nature an introvert. Yep, I see some of you shaking your head, but it’s true. Having said that, I love spending time with my wife, my sons, and my extended family. They energize me. Being a therapist energizes me.

What Energizes You?

Exuberant aging is a personal thing. It changes as we age. Our past determines what energizes us, as well as our culture. I think Magnusson has mapped out several timeless practices that can help anyone, anywhere, and at any age live exuberantly.

The rest is up to you.

TO READ MORE ENTRIES IN THE HEALTHY AGING SERIES, CLICK HERE.

Mark Neese Healthy Aging Series S10 E7

Your Brain on the MIND Diet | Healthy Aging Series: S10 E7

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This is Your Brain on The MIND Diet

If you think you’ve got it bad, try being your pet!

I’m sitting in our sunroom on this beautiful May morning. Hansel, our male kitty, has joined me. He loves the sunroom light in the mornings. I can hear him purring from across the room. He follows the sun throughout the day in our house. First is the sunroom where the sun is coming up in the morning. Then our bedroom facing the south and finally he spreads out on the floor on a rug in our dining room, which faces the west. He’s sleeping now. Content. Happy. Handsome. 

Also, he’s very predictable because, the moment I get up and head anywhere close to the laundry room, he’s up and follows me with the hopes of getting fed. I mostly ignore him, but the fact that he is two- or 3-pounds overweight means that I am a sucker for his ploy. He has the sweetest little meow. And I love those nose kisses. So, I give in and give him a little snack. He has a special diet cat food, the $120 bag kind of diet. We mostly control what he eats, mostly.

I read somewhere that Oprah has a trainer that controls what she eats. Tom Brady, too.

I wonder what it would be like to have someone, besides me, deciding what, how much, and when I eat. It might last a month or two, and then I say, “F*@k it! I’m sick of this!” They call this pattern of eating a “yo-yo diet.” On again, off again. Lose weight. Put it back on again. Repeat. But I’m not completely convinced it’s all that bad because it sounds a lot like the feast and famine cycles that our ancestors experienced.

Why is it so difficult to manage our weight?

The reason most of us have a difficult time eating right, which means eating the right amount and the right kind of food is because:

First, easy access to food. Food is everywhere. Grocery stores are always within driving distance. I grew up 15 miles from the X-market. We always had food in our cabinets! Convenience stores. Dollar General Stores. Fast Food stores. Restaurants. Casual and fine dining restaurants. Movie theaters. Donut Shops. I could go and on. Food is everywhere. OK I get it, there are countries and inner-city families that have limited access to grocery stores. We need to work on that!!

Second, processed food is engineered to taste good. I love the taste of fast food. Salt. Fat. Sugar. I question peoples honesty when they tell me, they don’t like sweets. Scientist, who know what humans want and need have spent years designing food that we will love and we will gorge on. I remember working at a place called “Blue Ribbon Food Service” in Portland, Oregon, while I went to college. They would add soy protein to the hamburger until  a few people complained that it wasn’t 100% beef. They removed the soy and people quit buying the frozen patties because it didn’t taste the same, and so, you guessed it, they added back the soy protein.

There is an abundance of food, and it tastes great, that’s our dilemma. 

I’ve been writing about the aging brain, and more specifically, how to take care of your brain. I’ve suggested that the MIND diet was a way of eating that provided a protective factor against cognitive impairment and Alzheimer’s. And since you’re not likely to be able to afford a personal trainer that will follow you around like Oprah and Tom Brady, rationing your food, and since you’re not likely enough to be my sweet kitty Hansel, you need a simple approach to eating that protects your brain. If you have time to read a book, read this: The MIND Diet: A Scientific Approach to Enhancing Brain Function, and Helping Prevent Alzheimer’s and Dementia. If you don’t have time to read the book, here is a simple chart for what you need to eat and not eat in the mind diet.Your brain on the MIND diet Healthy Aging Series S10 E7Question About the Mind Diet

What are whole grains? Geez. Rice, wheat, barley, buckwheat, Bolger, corn, millet, oats, quinoa, blah blah blah.
Amazon has every one of these. Directions are on the package. Millet is my favorite. We do not eat enough whole grains!

What about vegetables? What should I be eating?
Spend lots of time in the produce department at the grocery store. Eat lots of leafy-green stuff. Your plate should have lots of colors on it when you eat! Potatoes? Yes! 

What about fruit? Try to have some kind of fruit on your plate every meal. Have a bowl of blueberries, or raspberries, or blackberries, or melons, or strawberries in the fridge, and graze on them throughout the day.

What about beans and legumes?
Your microbiome will thank you! Legumes are good for you. They are pre-biotics and feed the probiotics that you’re taking (hopefully you’re taking probiotics) . You can buy uncooked beans and let them simmer on your stove for couple hours, or you can buy beans in the can. I prefer beans in the can because they’re easy to open up and just eat. They’re good for you. We’re talking about great northern beans, lentils, kidney beans, pinto beans, chickpeas, and lima beans.

What should I be eating? Eat lots of nuts. Eat chicken, fish, and lean beef. Eat lots of berries! We need fruit and vegetables. Fill up with fruits and vegetables! Your brain will thank you when you’re 80.

The MIND diet is so simple. As Michael stated: Eat real food, mostly plants, not too much. I recently read an article in the New York Times, I know, :-) “The link between highly processed Food and Brain Health.” 

Conclusion: A high percentage of daily energy consumption of ultra-processed foods was associated with cognitive decline among adults of an ethnically diverse sample.

Take away: Eat real food. 

Now, the hard part what not to eat:

First minimize sweets. Notice I didn’t say no sweets. It’s nearly impossible to completely eliminate sweets.

Second, avoid processed foods. Boo!!! I’m talking about snack food!

Third, limit alcohol. No biggie, I simply quit drinking alcohol altogether.

Fourth, I like red meat, but limit it to 2 to 3 times weekly.
And then there is portion control, I think half portions.

That’s it! Simple, and of course,  do I need to say “Stay away from fast food?”

The MIND diet is doable! You don’t need a personal trainer. You don’t need a pet guardian. Eat all the fruits and vegetables you want. Eat more beans, fish, and berries. Eat less sugar, or no “added sugar.”

After reading all this information about the MIND Diet, I evaluated my own diet and think I am 80% there. I don’t eat a lot of legumes, but I have tried to add fruit and vegetables to my diet. So over the next 3 to 6 months, I’m going to be adding more legumes and making sure  I’m getting plenty of fruits and vegetables in my daily intake.

Pick up a book on the Mediterranean diet, which is in essence The MIND Diet, and start taking care of your brain and your body!

TO READ MORE ENTRIES IN THE HEALTHY AGING SERIES, CLICK HERE.

Healthy Aging Series Season 10 Episode 6

The Dance with Alzheimer’s | Healthy Aging Series: S10 E6

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Reflecting on: “Before I Forget: Love, Hope, Help, and Acceptance in Our Fight Against Alzheimer’s,“ by B. Smith, and Don Gasby.  

I spent a week this past year helping my older son move.

I am almost 68, but a rather fit 68. All of us have helped someone move. Four days of grueling, backbreaking work. Everyone helped. Really, it was a wonderful experience.  And I recovered rather well. I had a few more sore tendons in my shoulder. Not bad.

The last evening there, we were eating at a Mexican Restaurant in Woodland Park, relishing our feat. During our conversations, I told my younger son that I had mentioned something to his older brother but referred to his older brother as his father. He looked up at me and asked “who?”
I stopped, not knowing what I had said wrong. There was a brief pause, and then it occurred to me that I was his father. We all laughed. I chalked up the verbal faux pas to four days of near physical exhaustion. Your brain doesn’t work as well when your body is exhausted.

With Alzheimer’s, You Disappear

Misremembering, absentmindedness, forgetting the name of a celebrity, misplacing your keys, or momentarily forgetting which exit to take can be frustrating, but experiencing one or more of these annoyances over the course of a few months is nothing, nothing like full-blown dementia. You don’t just forget where you left your keys; you forget how to use a knife and fork, you forget where you live, you forget every person you know, you forget the trips to the Caribbean; you forget what a car key is and does. You disappear, and sadly, you aren’t aware that you’ve disappeared.

It’s All About the Engine

We’ve been on a journey this season exploring the aging brain. Since the beginning of the season,  I’ve shared about traumatic brain injuries, Crystalized and Fluid Intelligence, how to exercise your brain, how to feed it, and we’ve looked at Captain James T. Kirk. 

Now, I want to share a story about one of the big land mines we all potentially face. This is a story about Alzheimer’s.  I read, “Before I Forget: Love, Hope, Help, and Acceptance in Our Fight Against Alzheimer’s,“ by B. Smith, and Don Gasby.  This is a story about the Smith’s experience with Alzheimer’s during the early and middle stages of the disease and it describes the ways B. and her husband, Dan, coped with the disease. It was heart wrenching, and I’m glad I read it.


Alzheimer’s disease is a form of dementia that robs you of everything you are and everything that you have been. You suffer until you don’t realize that you’ve forgotten who you are. The grieving process begins at the early stages for family and caregivers. They continue to grieve even though their loved one is no longer aware that they are the person that is being grieved.

The Dance with Alzheimer’s

The book is about B. and Dan’s love, their honesty, and their fearlessness throughout this disease.
Dan continued to love what would become B’s new self as he grieved over the loss of her old self. This was a dance, not with each other, but with the disease of Alzheimer. I first want to share the dance by sharing B’s and Dan’s words, alternating dance steps.

B
I’ll tell you the biggest problem for me: trying to remember things Dan tells me. In the beginning, I felt like there were things happening, and I needed to write them down to remember them, so I did. I have a little book for that. Dan can tell me something and I might not remember it 10 minutes later. Because who wants to forget what you’re supposed to remember.

Dan
This job of caregiver, which I hadn’t signed up for, hadn’t bargained on, never anticipated, I was doing my best. But my best wasn’t good enough, not if I flared at the wife, I loved who couldn’t help herself. So that made me feel even worse: not just frazzled and tired, and very depressed, but guilty.

B
One thing I’m having trouble with these days is my handbag. I keep misplacing it. I’ll put it down in my closet somewhere, and then the next day I can’t remember where I left it. Or I go down to the basement to get something, and somehow get it down there, and Dan gets exasperated with me. I get exasperated too! But what am I supposed to do? I think I’m going to remember where it is, and then I just don’t.

Dan
Every morning, B. goes out to her little Mercedes-Benz two-seater. It’s a car I bought her some years ago as a present. Some hesitation or fear, or maybe confusion, keeps her from putting the bags in the car. Instead, she gets in and sits there, keys in hand, not quite up to starting the engine. And there remains, until I come out and tell her it’s time for dinner.

B
I don’t feel different, but I know that I am. The slightest thought makes me cry. I never cried a lot before, not much in the movies, not in real life, either. Now I cry if I hear noise and Dan’s voice, or if he tells me I’ve had another sugary midnight snack. I can’t remember. Sometimes I cry when I’m alone, for no particular reason. They say crying makes you feel better. Not with me. It just makes me feel sad all over again.

Dan
Here’s the stone cold truth: you can never truly, fully appreciate how much you love your partner until you feel you might have just lost her forever.

B
I don’t remember the doctor’s visit or Dan putting me on the bus. I don’t remember why I got off and started wandering. I do remember it was the evening, so it didn’t seem out of place. And I remember I felt good. I wasn’t scared or worried. I felt free! I was taking care of myself, having an adventure. I know that’s not a really good thing now. I know everyone was horrified and thought I was dead. I didn’t mean for everyone to worry! But sometimes you just need to be on your own.

Dan
Damn that disease. I’m no scientist; no politician either. I can’t invent a new drug nor a cure. But I can see how desperately one is needed, and maybe in my own way, I can help raise awareness, help put pressure on public and private sectors to steer more money to research and get the job done. Just keep B. happy during the time she has left, and that’s what I’m aiming for now.

B
There are rules Dan has put on me. Like no driving. No more driving! That’s hard. I’ve been driving since I was a teenager, and that white Mercedes Sports coupe in the driveway was a gift to me. “You can’t drive anymore,” says Dan. No driving for me. I get angry, but I know he’s right. I’m not going to fight that one. I’m not crazy! Just a little here and there.

Dan
The moments of dislocation and dysfunction are increasing, the ability to follow what’s said, and to do tasks that take multiple steps, all this points to the obvious, the inevitable. When those changes do occur, I hope that I’ll be able to do what I’m hoping you can do, to not lose sight of the soul within. Studies have shown that patients with this stage of Alzheimer’s hear, think, and feel, even if they seem to have vanished from the ruined bodies, they inhabit. I know I’ll be there, holding the hand of the woman I love. I guess that spirituality, too. Good luck to us all.


A Primer on Alzheimer’s

What did I learn about Alzheimer’s Dementia from this book. “Before I Forget” is a love story and it’s also a Primer on Alzheimer’s. Here are some of the lessons.

Lesson One: I learned that Alzheimer’s affects millions of people, and we need to do something about it now. Consider the numbers.

The number of Americans living with Alzheimer’s is growing — and growing fast. Nearly 7 million Americans have Alzheimer’s.

  • An estimated 6.9 million Americans age 65 and older are living with Alzheimer’s in 2024. Seventy-three percent are age 75 or older.
  • About 1 in 9 people age 65 and older (10.9%) has Alzheimer’s.
  • Almost two-thirds of Americans with Alzheimer’s are women.
  • Older Black Americans are about twice as likely to have Alzheimer’s or other dementias as older Whites.
  • Older Hispanics are about one and one-half times as likely to have Alzheimer’s or other dementias as older Whites.


As the size of the U.S. population age 65 and older continues to grow, so too will the number and proportion of Americans with Alzheimer’s or other dementias. By 2050, the number of people age 65 and older with Alzheimer’s may grow to a projected 12.7 million, barring the development of medical breakthroughs to prevent or cure Alzheimer’s disease.


Lesson Two: I learned that you will slowly lose the last 10 years of your life.
Alzheimer’s comes in three stages: Early, Middle, and Late

  • Early Stage: You lose your short-term episodic memory, especially to recent conversations and events, your hand-eye coordination becomes somewhat impaired, making it difficult to use eating utensils. These symptoms may bring on mood swings and depression. This stage can last from one to four years.
  • Middle Stage: long-term memory loss becomes evident. Childhood recollections may fade, difficulty recognizing family members. You become unaware of current events and confused about time. You develop sleeplessness, or too much sleep, and have difficulties with hygiene and toileting. This stage can last from 2 to 10 years.
  • Late Stage: There is profound memory loss and the loss of ability to communicate, and comprehend others. The need for round-the-clock help for all personal hygiene issues.  You develop the inability to swallow, and you become incontinent. Delusions are common. You become immobile and unresponsive. This stage typically last from 1 to 3 years. The most common cause of death is pneumonia.

Lesson Three: I learned that as difficult and frustrating as it is to lose the last 10 years of your life, it is equally difficult for family members and loved ones to watch as their loved one slowly fades and disappears. Caregivers suffer through this 10+ year process. It is a family burden to be the primary caregivers. When, not if, you need home care it will likely cost up to $1000 a week. Insurance is not going to cover all of the home-care expenses. He/she will be there, but not be there. He/she will be a burden to you and also to your grown children.

Lesson Four: I learned that no one survives a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. There are medications that claim to slow down the process.

Lesson Five: As of yet, they do not know what causes it.

Lesson Six: There may, and I emphasize may, be things you can do to lower your risk of developing Alzheimer’s Dementia. In a study in 2020, researchers, looked at diet and lifestyle, and how they increased or decreased risk for Alzheimer’s. One study looked at 1845 adults that were 73 and older, and the other study looked at 920 adults that were 81+, all free from Alzheimer’s. They followed them for six years. Here is what lowered the risk of Alzheimer’s was:

  1. Non-smoking.
  2. Engaged in consistent, moderate, or intense exercise.
  3. Limited alcohol consumption to light to moderate.
  4. Followed the Mediterranean Diet.
  5. Stayed engaged in cognitive-challenging activities.

There are no promises in life. My good friend Sam sees life as walking through a minefield. You walk through life, and you step on a mine (Alzheimer’s, cancer, stroke, fill in the blank). The real question isn’t “will you step on a mine,” but “will you recover?” 

I’ve written two blogs on Resiliency in a previous season. That explains how you can prepare yourself to bounce back when you do hit one of these land mines. Is there anything that you can do to decrease your risk or prevent the devastating effect of these mines? 

And the answer is maybe! I’m writing about the aging brain in this season of my Healthy Aging Blog. I’ve asserted that you can’t get along in life without a brain, and it’s important to keep your brain healthy, because every part of your body depends on your brain. So, here are my suggestions:

  • Exercise every day.
  • Eat lots of fruits and vegetables.
  • Work out your brain by studying, writing, learning new skills that involve hand coordination.
  • If you smoke, stop smoking.
  • If you drink, limit  your intake to light or moderate drinking, mostly red wine.

TO READ MORE ENTRIES IN THE HEALTHY AGING SERIES, CLICK HERE.